Chapter One

The sun was just beginning to crest over the horizon. It tossed reds, oranges and even a smattering of yellows high into the sky where it tried to push back the darkness of the night. The wet air began to settle in droplets on the dark green grass, where it then soaked into my skin and clothes. Sadly, it didn’t cool my over-warm body; instead it seemed to make me feel even more sticky and hot. The day, once it fully arrived, would be another scorcher, and if the dew around me was any indication, it would be just as humid as the day before.

“What are you doing out here?”

I turned just my head away from the glorious dawn and focused my eyes on the tall, dark, and half-clothed man standing right up next to where I lay in the damp grass. My eyes traveled from his bare feet, up his long and muscled torso, to his face, that was shadowed just enough I couldn’t read his expression. “Derek,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s me. What are you doing?”

“I couldn’t sleep. I came out to watch the sunrise.”

“By yourself?”

As the answer was evidently yes, I didn’t respond. Instead, I took a deep breath and sat up.

I heard him sigh. He dropped down to sit next to me. He pressed against my arm. His skin was warm, and I leaned into it. Not that I was cold, as it was hot as hell, but it was comforting and warm and I wanted to soak it up. “Okay, how about, why are you out here at the buttcrack of dawn, by yourself?”

I huffed a quiet laugh at his press of humor. “I couldn’t sleep. All I kept thinking about was the boy. I feel…guilty over the whole thing. What will happen to him, Derek?”

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in against his chest. It felt comfortable, and right then I needed the comfort.

“Abby, you don’t have anything to feel guilty about. You did what you had to do. You protected your family,” Derek said.

“It doesn’t feel that way. My dad just grabbed him and hauled him away. It’s not right. His family doesn’t know what happened to him or his brother.”

I dropped my head into my hands, covered my eyes and wailed, “I killed his brother. I’m an awful person. That family probably doesn’t know what happened to two of their babies! They are just missing and the not knowing has to be awful.”

Derek gave me a firm shake. I lifted my head and looked into his dark eyes. He ran his thumb over my cheek and wiped away the wetness trailing down my face. “You aren’t an awful person. You are one of the greatest gifts, I’ve ever found. You did nothing wrong.”

“I killed…”

“Stop it,” Derek interrupted. “You protected.”

I shook my head and tried to make him understand. “It’s eating me alive. I killed him. I have his blood on my hands.”

I held up the palms of my hands for Derek to see. I know the blood had been washed away months ago, but I could still see the red of it. I could still feel the sticky of it. It felt heavy and thick.

“I took him away from a little brother who needs him. I took the very same little brother and helped kidnap him. He’s locked away somewhere. I can’t even go and see him. I want to try to explain. I want him to understand I did what I had to do, but…”

“Abby, stop. Stop.” He took my hands into his and pushed them down against our legs and held them there. He pressed his forehead against mine and looked directly into my eyes, holding my gaze to him. I could feel him trying to make me listen, this time. Where I hadn’t before.

“You were a part in the death of his brother, yes. Remember, you had no choice. That was clear self-defense. You didn’t seek him out and just murder him. He attacked and would have killed you. This is the truth and you know it. Burn it into your mind and heart. You had to protect yourself and your family. Period.”

“But…”

Derek shook his head and cut me off. “I’m not finished. The boy, he’s half wolf. He’s got a lot of the wolf in him and he will change. He will be a shifter. The Hunterz will destroy him for it. It won’t matter if he’s from them, too. All they will see is he is a shifter and they will kill him. We are going to help him. We are going to try to teach him the ways of the wolf.”

“How? What will become of him?”

“That will be up to him. He’s still angry. Combative. Silent. Once he gets through some of his emotions, we will be able to educate him. Teach him the ways of the wolf. Bring him into our world. He won’t be alone forever. He just has to look, and he will see a whole clan is waiting to embrace him.”

I wondered if he had one clan or two? Would the Grey clan embrace the boy as well? He was from the Hunterz. Would being a wolf taint him in their eyes?

“How long will he be secluded? When can I see him?”

I felt Derek hesitate to answer me. Why? I saw him struggle with an answer. He finally gave me the truth, even though he knew I wouldn’t like it.

“I don’t know. It will depend on him as much as the elders. He’s angry right now. Unreasonable and destructive.”

I would have been, too. Ripped from my world. Taken from my mom and my family. My brother killed right before my eyes. Yes, I’d be angry too.

“I don’t blame him for his anger.”

“No. I don’t either.”

We sat together and watched the rest of the sunrise together. When the sun was up in the sky and the light of the day lit the world around us, Derek stood and helped me to my feet. “Come back to bed. At least try to get a few hours in. It’s a full moon tonight.”

“Yeah,” I said. I couldn’t forget. It had been one month since that night. “I’m heading out to Lilly’s.”

Derek stopped walking. I halted as well and looked up at him. “Don’t go this moon. Stay with me,” he finally asked.

I wanted to, but there was also a part of me that didn’t. “It’s the first moon since Aunt Lilly balanced. I feel like I need to be with her.”

After he didn’t reply, I said, “Come with me, instead. You don’t have to stay here. Make an excuse. Say it’s to keep me safe. Say whatever you want, just come with me.”

He laughed, more a deprecating laugh than one of enjoyment. “Look at us. Both wanting to go with the other and neither being able to. Too many obligations.”

“But there’s not. Come with me, Derek.”

“I can’t. I’m one of the adults and I have clan obligations on the full moon. You know this. You just don’t like it,” he said.

No, I didn’t like it at all. They were stupid obligations in my opinion. As always, though, in the clan of males, my opinion and wants didn’t count for shit. We reached the back door of my grandfather’s home. Before Derek opened the door, I stopped him one last time. “Will it always be like this?”

“Like what?”

“Neither of us getting what we want? The clan always coming first? What I want or what you want not mattering at all to anyone but us? Putting the clan over our needs?”

I watched his face fall, “Don’t do this, Abby.”

“I’m not doing anything,” I replied, but I was.

I wasn’t born into the clan like he was. My motto wasn’t clan first above all else. I didn’t want to live the rest of my life having to be second.

He sighed then opened the door for us to go inside. “Let’s go to sleep. Everything will look better once we’ve rested a bit.”

I let him lead us up the stairs and I even allowed him to tuck me into my bed. I had a feeling nothing would look better, nothing would change. The question circling around in my head though was, what was I going to do about it?