Chapter One

Scotland 1750

Houston, Dr. Stuart, stepped back slanting a look at the little freckle faced, red headed boy sitting on his table. The boy wore a pained look on that cherubic face of his. He was barely five. It was the third time in the last month that Mrs. MacKay sat nearby, shaking her head. The boy was a little hellion except when he was asleep. At least that was what his mother continued to tell him.

“I’ve warned him a hundred times if not a thousand he was going to fall out of that tree. I tell him not to walk along the top of the fence. He’s not supposed to go in the shed with the cows or the field with the bull. Does he listen to me? No. He thinks he can fly. Last time you saw him he had a concussion, the time before that a sprained ankle. Now he’s got a broken arm. What next?” She threw up her hands in desperation as she stared at the little boy.

“I believe he has no fear along with the fact that I’ll see him more as he grows older. For now, though, he’ll be limited in what he can do.”

Houston had a difficult time stopping the laughter that bubbled deep in his belly. His brother, Kit, was just like this boy. He didn’t fear anything. In his life his brothers Kit and Riley along with his cousins, Roby and Brady, got into more scrapes than he could count. They defied all rules of common sense. They never listened to sage advice coming from the oldest.

“Don’t know if anything will stop that lad. I tell him time and again not to push the limits. It’s almost as if I’m puttin’ ideas into his head by warning him not to do something.” She was pointedly shaking one finger at him as if that would make a wit of difference. “Well, you can’t be climbin’ the trees for a while. Swingin’ on them as if you were bein’ a monkey.”

“Make him keep the splint on his arm. He needs to rest the bone and muscle to assist the healing. You’re absolutely right, he can’t be using it to act like a little monkey. This is going to take some time to mend. You can give him willow bark tea to ease the pain but nothing stronger.”

Dr. Houston helped the boy down from the table before patting him on his head. He shuffled to the cabinet where he kept medicine, handing her the willow bark. “Bring him back in two days. At that time, I’ll rework the splint, check to make sure the arm is recovering properly. He’ll most likely have the splint in tatters by then. Remember, rest and time are the most important factors for him to get back to normal.”

Houston watched the woman with her child leave his office. Wondered if he would ever have a wife, family too. He sat down on a chair as he stretched his long legs out in front of him. His foot ached. It always did when there was a change in the weather. He figured they were in for snow soon if it wasn’t falling already. When he peered outside, the sky was gray darkening as the seconds slowly ticked by. He pinched the bridge of his nose wishing for something illusive. Lights from the buildings cast an eerie glow on the surroundings.

He thought on the day five years ago when his toes were crushed in a steel trap. In his cat form, he’d been racing across a deserted part of the highlands. Agony tripped across his body, swirling through his veins to trigger all his nerves. His roar reverberated through the valley echoing in all the empty spaces. As his cat he couldn’t spring the trap. Too many English soldier roamed the area for him to shift back to human. He had to take the risk. There was no other choice. He could hardly stay pinned to this spot while praying some kind soul would chance upon him. Houston wasn’t sure if his prayers had been answered when a young girl found him. He recalled how soft and gentle her voice was, almost a whisper in the air. For her age she was a beauty. Deep down he knew she would grow up to be beautiful in every way.

Without a question in her eyes, she sprung the trap. When she touched his mangled foot, he felt a surge of protectiveness swamp him. Nerve endings burned. Her caress gentle as it eased some of the pain. She brought out a vial of lavender oil, rubbed the essence on his paw. After that he would always recall the instant when he caught the unique scent of lavender.

After he limped back to his clothes where he could dress, he thought of that moment. With tenderness, she rubbed his head, scratched behind his ears. Told him all would be better. Her last words to him were to make sure the bones were set properly.

They had not been set correctly. At least he didn’t think so. Believed to this very day if they had been, he would be able to walk without a limp. Without dragging one foot behind him when the pain overwhelmed the threshold he could tolerate. At the time, he knew nothing about doctoring. Apparently, the bone-setter didn’t either.

Ah, Mrs. Mackay had four children, a fifth one on the way. He tried to explain to her that she should stop having children. Too many could cost her her life or that of a child. She laughed telling him he should talk to her husband about that vera important fact. How to approach a man to tell him he should only have sex with his wife at certain times of the month or that he should take his great rod from her body before he ejaculated?

It wasn’t a conversation he would relish. Knew for the sake of her health, he should do so. Her husband would laugh then tell him he would never do such an outlandish thing. Withdrawing from a woman wasn’t natural or right.

Actually, he knew it was a conversation he should initiate with Mr. McKay. Mayhap he loved his wife enough to listen.

Pondering on that thought further, maybe he would do just that. He knew her husband loved her. Wouldn’t want to see anything happen to her. She told him paying attention to her cycle wouldn’t work because she wasn’t regular.

Oh, he closed his eyes for a moment thinking. Perhaps it was time to move on with his career. He received an invitation to study with one of the finest surgeons of his time in Edinburgh. His earlier apprenticeship taught him a great deal. He was more than just a bone-setter. He was a surgeon. He knew things. Understood how a human body worked better than most physicians. Never believed in bloodletting. Never thought it would cure a disease. What he did know was that people died when they lost too much blood.

Maybe for a short time he’d go to Edinburgh then to be close to his family as well as his extended family, the McKenna’s. His mother, Brenna McKenna, wed his father Alistair Stuart. Both he and Kit had the raven black hair and silver blue eyes of the McKenna clan. His littlest brother, Riley, received the red hair and green eyes from their father. Riley’s mischievous temperament fit the color of his hair perfectly.

More often than not he found himself homesick, wishing to be back in the highlands. He wasn’t cut out for living in the city nor was he meant to live away from his clan. He missed the births as well as the marriages. He knew Crissie had two children, Brady and Lilly two babes as well. Roby was wed, a child on the way.

He was the oldest.

Yes, it was time to think about selling his practice so he could move home. When he first arrived here, living had been an adventure, the land almost as wild and untamed as his homeland. He couldn’t remember the last time he shifted. With a long-drawn-out sigh, he realized it might be much longer before he was able to do so. Even in the lowlands there were Sassenach patrols. Now with his schooling and apprenticeship in Edinburgh coupled with the year he spent here, he’d been away from the highlands for a long time, far too long.

Houston wandered upstairs to his living quarters. It was three o’clock, almost time to close up shop unless there was an emergency or Sara Jane’s baby decided to arrive early. If that happened, he would be gone most of the night, possibly into the morning hours. He flexed the toes on his bad foot, reminded himself he should not walk with a limp. He needed to do better. Concentration was the key to walking without a hobble.

A groan emanated from his belly at the sound of his office door being opened. It had been three days since the simpering Marie Hughes came to him with some imaginary complaint. Her family was the wealthiest family in the small town of Selkirk, Scotland. For some reason she decided she saw more in him than he wanted any woman to see, any woman except his mate. Marie wasn’t his mate. He groaned again, his belly coiling. If he was to find his special woman, he would have to get out of Selkirk. Although Roby found his mate in the most remarkable manner, at the end of the hangman’s noose. How Robby realized that fact from the tales he heard via the sight of her, head covered, noose dangling beside her was beyond him. Perhaps there would be a quickening of the blood. Maybe one just knew.

Making his way downstairs, he cursed the change in weather. The snow had not started yet. Nonetheless white flakes would tumble downward in minutes. If the snowflakes fell too quickly before he could give Marie a diagnosis, he would be obliged to walk her home. She would have thought of that, planned for that very scenario.

When he opened the door and saw her, she appeared suspiciously healthy. Her welcoming smile was coy, deliberate. Her head must be whirling as she sought symptoms for some imaginary illness. Just last week she had a strange ringing in her ears. Said she felt dizzy. Pretended to faint while she was sitting on his table.

That wasn’t well thought out by her. She should have waited then fainted when she stood. He would have caught her in his arms. The devil, he was glad she did not. Today, he wondered what she would come up with. What fake illness assailed her? Her dark brown eyes gazed at him, trailed up then down his body as she took stock of him, lingering in strategic places meant to seduce him. Unable to help his disgust, he shuddered. He didn’t know why she was putting her hopes on him. He wasn’t rich although his family was. He did have funds to fall back on when necessary. For Christ sakes, he was a doctor. Hell, but there were dozens of wealthy young men in surrounding towns she could set her hooks into.

Why him?

The rush of air that passed his lips was meant to remind him that he was a professional. It didn’t matter that he was the most eligible bachelor in this small out-of-the-way town. He was the only doctor. Marie wasn’t the only unmarried lady who sought ways to meet him. He had to admit she was the prettiest as well as the most imaginative. Nonetheless, there was something about her nature that disgusted him.

“Well, hello Houston,” she greeted him with the slight lisp she affected for reasons he couldn’t understand. Her smile was brilliant though, her eyes shimmering with what seemed to be pleasure.

“Marie,” he returned pleasantly all the while hoping this would not take overlong. “What can I do for you today?”

It wasn’t worth getting into another argument. Miss Hughes was a much more appropriate way to address her. He just didn’t have the energy to disagree. It wouldn’t get him anywhere if he tried.

She nodded, walking by him to sit on the table. He wasn’t going to examine her even though he was sure assessing her was exactly what she wanted. She leaned back placing her hands behind her for support. Her small sassy breasts pushed upward on display for him. She arched her back. He supposed she had practiced this move enticing the eligible lads in the surrounding villages.

“Do you have to be so formal?” she asked, lowering her dark lashes so they fanned out across her ivory cheekbones. She opened them while she waited for an answer. “I much prefer a bit of casualness. I mean to get to know you better.”

He certainly didn’t intend to know Marie better than he did. “I assume you’re here with some sickness you want cured.” His words held a wealth of sarcasm. As always, the tone slipped past Marie. “We should go about the business of curing you. What ails you this time?”

“Well, I’ve been having headaches. They hurt so badly. Why, at times I have to take to my bed.” She looked straight at him as she narrowed her eyes feigning the pain that would go along with what she claimed. She rubbed her temples. “Very bad headaches. They happen most every day. I have to take to my bed when they occur.” She had to tell him twice.

“Do you have one now?” he asked wondering what excuse she would give him as he knew she wasn’t in pain.

She didn’t know how to pretend the agony she was trying to attain. He didn’t believe she’d ever felt true anguish. “I won’t give you laudanum. Willow bark tea is the best. The taste is bitter. However, with enough honey the flavor is palatable. The tea will help without any lasting effects. I’ve some lavender oil you can massage on your temples that might also help.”

“The stuff is horrible,” she told him grimacing. “I’ve still got the willow bark you gave me last time. I might try the lavender oil though. It smells divine.”

“You didn’t use the tea?” he inquired trying not to smirk at the look of utter distaste on her face. “So, then I won’t be needing to give you anything else. You have a supply that will last.” He extended a hand to help her down.

She slid from the table with a tiny puff of air as if she was exasperated with him. “My family is having a get together, well, a small celebration Saturday night if you’d like to come, I’d love to see you there. We could dance. It will be ever so much fun.”

“Thank you,” he told her, hesitating while knowing he would never attend.

Interesting though, before his accident he would have joined the party just to mingle, to meet new people. He didn’t care any longer. That wasn’t entirely true. It was just he didn’t like small talk or flirting girls. His gimp foot made him a bit self-conscious. “That’s actually quite nice of you to ask,” he told her as he tried to think of a polite way to say no.

“Then you’ll be there?” She smiled while she tossed her wealth of curls over her shoulder. This time it wasn’t coy or affected just sincere. “I’ll look forward to a dance or two.”

He marveled at the nice change. She could be human when she tried. “Maybe. Sara Jane’s baby is due anytime. You know I don’t dance.”

That was something else he missed, dancing. He thought it had been a long time since he held a woman in his arms while music played. The strange thing was he didn’t have one inclination to hold Marie Hughes. If he met a woman he wanted to hold…to dance with…he might dance.

“Well, that doesn’t make a wit of difference to me.” She stared at his foot then back to his face. Leaning forward she placed her hand on his arm. “We can stroll through the gardens, hand in hand. You can kiss me if you like. I believe I would like that, a kiss.” She closed her eyes.

“That’s a bit premature, don’t you think? Besides it’s winter. The weather will be far too cold for a late-night stroll.”

He was thinking that was a blatant invitation only a cad would take advantage of. He also didn’t have one inclination to feel Marie’s lips beneath his.

His foot wasn’t diseased yet she always had such a look of distaste when the shape of his maligned foot was brought to attention. He wondered what she would think if he did take more notice of her or if she actually saw his foot without his shoe covering it. He didn’t want to find out. She would have to hunt up some other poor man to finagle into marriage vows.

It wasn’t going to be him.

On top of his disability if she knew he was a shifter, she’d most likely faint dead away.

The door banged open, shaking the walls along with the glass vials that were on the shelves around the room, startling both of them. He jumped at the sound, his mind reacting to the pending emergency. His heart thundered. He was thinking ahead.

“Stick!” Marie cried out stepping back. Her expression changed to abject hatred. “What are you doing here? Barging in like that?”

Stick ignored Marie then bent his attention toward him. “You’ve got to come, Doc. Got to come now! It’s a matter of life or death.”

Stick stood in the doorway. He was a young man, tall and skinny, blinding red hair. He was known around town as someone who didn’t have all his wits about him. Stick was nice enough. Sometimes he didn’t make a great deal of sense. This time there was no question about what he wanted. Someone was in dire peril.

Holding her elbow, Houston saw Marie to the door. When he peered outside, there was still enough light left for her to walk home in safety. Thank God. Snow wasn’t falling, might not for the next five minutes or more. She would be fine. Her coat was warm. He felt as if he dodged something unsure of exactly what that was. Next, he felt as if he was about to meet his destiny head on. For no reason he could think of, he suddenly remembered the young girl who helped him so long ago. He shook the image from his head.

“Got to come, Doc. He’s hurt real bad, somethin’ terrible. Hurry!”

“Who’s hurt?” Houston had his medical bag in hand as he strode toward Stick, his mind whirling with possibilities. “Who did you say?” Houston asked again. This time he pulled his hat from the coat stand.

Stick was backing out the doorway, turning toward the frozen rutted road. Houston slipped his coat on as he followed the gangly young man to an old wagon sitting across from his office. A young woman stood in front of the mule drawn cart. She was wringing her hands, the saddest look on her face he’d ever seen. Despite the despair etched vividly in her eyes, she was beautiful, ethereal in the fading afternoon light. Her golden blond hair was braided down her back, the tip brushing across her slim waist. Because of the brewing storm, the day was too dark to see the color of her eyes. His gut clenched when he saw the ribbons of tears sliding down her cheeks. Her sobs were silent. Not for a moment did he doubt the distress.

“It’s Shadow,” Stick said as if he thought the village doc could do anything. “Fix him up. Her dah kicked him in the ribs. He’s real old. If you don’t help, the dog might die.”

“I don’t…” He cleared his throat looking from the girl to Stick. “I don’t fix dogs. I’m a human doctor.” The devil, would he refuse to fix a black panther if one was brought to him? One of his own if the person was in cat form? Nay, he would have to try. If nothing else he could make the animal comfortable.

“Please just look at him. He needs you. I can’t do anything more for him,” she spoke softly, so softly he barely heard. It was a whisper in the chilling winter air.

Snow threatened.

Cold air burned his lungs with ice.

Beneath his breath he swore. A moment of thought, with another soft curse he climbed onto the back of the wagon. He was going against all of his training, all of his principles. He wondered at his decision as he ran his hand down the animal’s side. He touched the dog’s nose. The tip was dry and hot with fever. Bending close to the animal’s side, he listened. It wasn’t good news he’d give the girl. The dog was going to die. When was the only question?

“Grizzly kicked him. Hard. He got in his way.” She spoke again a soft sigh caught in the chill. “Can you fix his rib?”

“Grizzly?” Houston looked up. “Is that someone?”

He had too many questions at the moment. He supposed it could have been the mule or a horse. Was Grizzly her dah? Did she live with a man who would kick an old dog instead of step around him?

“Her dah,” Stick said offering answers before she could.

The lad was eager where she was reticent. “Her dah gets mean drunk every night. Got to stay out of his way. Sometimes she has to sleep outside. Shadow was sleeping that’s all. Didn’t see him coming so he could get out of his way.”

Houston wanted to hear from her even though she held back. Still, he digested every word Stick uttered. He looked at her. This time his question was meant for Stick. “Were you there?” Houston asked staring at the girl who didn’t seem to want to say anything more. He found he wanted to hear her voice again. The sound reminded him of another time, another place.

He just couldn’t remember.

In time he would.

“No, he wasn’t,” she said as she settled down beside her old dog. Her hand rested gently on his back. “He met me on my way here. I don’t mind if he talks for me. Stick knows the story. He likes to talk. I don’t.”

“Don’t work on animals,” Houston said again, wishing he didn’t have to tell her no. What did he know about mending dogs? It couldn’t be too different. There were basics. Since he understood these were the dogs last moments, he could ease him across the rainbows into another land.

I can at least try.

“Can’t be much different from humans,” Stick spoke again not wanting him to give up.

Nervous energy abounded around the young man as he shifted from one foot to the next, his hands waving wildly with every word he spoke. “You got to do this for Leah. Shadow’s one of her only friends besides me. She can’t lose him. Who will she have if Shadow’s gone? A person ought to have more than one friend.”

Leah, it was a nice name. Seemed to fit her. Stick was her only friend. A girl as beautiful as Leah should have lots of friends. He hadn’t seen her in the village or heard of her. She swiped away tears. Maybe she was as elusive as her voice.

“I’ll take a look.”

He was a damn fool for giving in to emotions better left alone. For some reason, he couldn’t resist.

Just from what little he saw of the poor animal, he wasn’t going to be able to help. He didn’t want to get her hopes up. This just wasn’t something he needed at the moment. Bending over, he swept up the dog. His foot ached as he stumbled slightly on his way to the building. Stick rushed in front, opening the door as he reached his office then standing in the way as he tried to navigate through the slight opening that was left.

After he set Shadow by the wood stove, he rubbed the dog’s ears. He didn’t understand how. Nevertheless, he felt Leah’s pain as if it was his own. It seemed to touch his soul. She sat next to him stroking her dog, murmuring soft endearments to the animal. After that, she stood, looking at him, silently questioning. He didn’t know how to tell her the dog wasn’t going to make it through the night.

Her eyes were blue, the color of a summer sky, her lips a soft pink against pure white skin.

Next to him, she was cold, her breathing shallow. He wanted to fold her into his arms in order to warm her. Needed to find a means to do away with the pain freezing her. Chasing away her agony was a task that couldn’t be accomplished. The feeling was also something that went deeper than the possible loss of her dog.

“He has two broken ribs. At least one has punctured his lung. There isn’t anything I can do for him except make him comfortable. I’ll give him something to ease the pain. Keep water by his side if he wants to drink. He won’t want to eat.”

She wasn’t sobbing. Although tears were sliding faster down her cheeks, she cried without making a sound. He hated what he told her. She thanked him with that soft whispery voice he would never get used to but wanted to hear until he remembered exactly where he heard the sound before. It sounded as if it hurt her to talk. She should have someone to confide in besides a mean drunk along with this young man who meant well however…

“Don’t think he’ll make it through the night.” Houston dropped a blanket over the scruffy dog, his muzzle white with age. The animal’s breathing was labored. Nevertheless, after the small amount of opium he gave the dog, he breathed easier. Shadow would sleep until the end.

“Can she stay here with him?” Stick asked as he took her hands in his. “I’ll go up the mountain to tell Grizzly she’s staying so he won’t be worrying none about her.”

“Grizzly won’t worry about me. He’s not really my dah. Just my step-dah. What he will be is angry about is if I don’t get his supper ready. I have to go.”

“It wouldn’t look good if she stayed the night. Would ruin her.”

Houston had the strange feeling she wouldn’t care. He would though. Somehow, he understood she was special.

“She can’t go home,” Stick insisted, seemingly worried about her as he looked outside.

It was obvious how much the young man cared for the girl. He was still standing in the open doorway. Behind him the snow began to fall. “It’s too far and too cold.”

“Where do you live?” Houston asked wondering how long it would take her to get home, a few minutes or an hour or two. He had a gut feeling that with the old mule pulling the wagon it would take her more than an hour.

“She lives up the mountain. Just her and her dah, Grizzly,” Stick spoke up again looking from the darkening sky to the animal in front of the stove.

Leah placed her hand on his. The touch was light and warmed him even though her fingers were cold. Houston didn’t want to think about her riding up the mountain all by herself or with just Stick beside her.

“It’s alright,” she spoke again sensing his fears. “I’ve got a pistol.”

Hell, the woods were filled with predators, man along with beasts. He stood, stretching as his tired muscles pulled and ached. He thought of the lost sleep. “I’ll go with you.”

She shrunk away from him seemingly appalled at his suggestion. “No, no, that won’t be necessary. I’ve taken care of myself for too many years to count. I don’t need anyone.”

He had the distinct feeling she believed her words. “I’m going with her to the turnoff,” Stick offered with a lift to his shoulders. “We don’t need you to go all the way to her house.”

He wasn’t at all sure this was the right decision. Didn’t want to be afraid for her though he was. She slanted him a wan smile as she sat down on the floor next to Shadow. It seemed she intended to say goodbye. As she placed her face on the dog’s head, a small sob erupted from her body, her shoulders shaking with the pain she must feel.

“I’ll miss you,” he heard the soft murmur of words. “You’ve been a dear friend.”

His eyes clouded with tears. She truly loved this animal, cared for him deeply.

“You can come back tomorrow,” he offered believing the dog would die during the night. He told her he would make Shadow comfortable. The only thing that would truthfully ease the dog’s pain would be death. He didn’t know if he wanted his passing to come before she arrived in the morning or after. Houston supposed she would want to hold his head in her lap when he sipped in his last breath from the air.

He found he wanted to see her again.

“Thank you,” she told him before turning to look at Stick. “We should go now. What time?”

“I’m usually up by six.”

She nodded. It was her invitation to Stick to follow her out as well as her commitment to return to see Shadow journey to another life. Houston lightly held her elbow as he walked her to the door then across the road to her wagon. He helped her up. “You take care now.”

A chilling wind gust caught him by surprise. Snow fell, swirled around him. She would have a cold drive home. He didn’t like sending her home by herself. He watched as the unlikely pair boarded the wagon. She held the reigns lightly in her hands as slowly the old mule started down the road, the wagon wheels crunching snow as they made their way along the deserted route.

Houston watched them as they disappeared into the night. Why he waited for a few more minutes he didn’t know. He drew in a long draught of air before stuffing his hands in his pockets. He ran to the door. This time he’d neglected his coat.

Standing inside the door, he brushed snow from his trousers then rubbed his hands together to warm them. She didn’t wear gloves. Her hands would freeze. He wondered if she owned a pair of gloves. The concern he felt for this ethereal woman was unusual. The sensation was something he’d never before experienced.

Shadow moaned softly. It was a ghostly sound. He shivered. He knew the old dog was ready to say goodbye to the world. Ready to face new challenges. Houston sat down beside him, stroking the rough fur. It seemed to make the dog feel better. His gaze turned toward him, his lids lowered for a moment almost as if he thanked him.

Houston tucked the blanket around Shadow before heading upstairs to his rooms. The cook left dinner for him as always. He sat down to the venison stew provided for him by one of the families. He didn’t get paid much. Instead of groats, the people of the parish provided him with fresh game, some with baked bread, biscuits along with muffins straight from their ovens in the mornings. Sometimes he would find a pie sitting inside his office door. More often than not he’d find wheels of cheese in the waiting room when he walked downstairs.

It wasn’t a bad life.

However, he needed to start over. As he slipped off his shoes and socks, he stared at his feet, his mangled foot. Rubbing his hand across the bones that had not been set well, he wondered if he could break them again, in the process making the foot right. The pain would be excruciating. The days of recovery too many. Was healing his foot worth the price he would have to pay in time along with the excruciating pain?

From the side table he uncorked a bottle of lavender oil then rubbed it on the mangled toes. The massage felt good, the scent relaxing. Once again, he thought of the girl so long ago who freed him from the steel trap. She carried lavender oil with her that day. She rubbed the medicine on his foot while she cared for an animal, a stranger to her.

Something about Leah reminded him of the girl. That had been more than five years ago. She must have been fourteen or fifteen then…

~ * ~

Leah understood Shadow was going to die. She supposed she’d known that truth since she left with him in her wagon. There was nothing she could do for the dog so she tried the only thing she could think of.

She brought him to Doc Houston.

Thinking of Grizzly as her dah never sat right with her. He was cruel, an ornery son of a bitch. Had never treated her mother right, barely tolerated her. She was nothing to him when she was younger. Now that she was older, she’d become his servant, his housekeeper as well as cook.

She never could figure out why her mother married that man. Her mother always told her she needed his protection. Told her that a woman needed a man to keep her safe. Leah didn’t believe a woman had to have a man’s protection to get on with her life. She always wished her ma had more faith in herself. The two of them would have been better off if they stayed in the highlands. The McKenna clan would have helped them with anything they needed, would have made sure they wanted for nothing. McKennas were good people.

She would have offered to work in the kitchen at the McKenna keep. Her mother could sew. She was an excellent seamstress. Could have supplemented their income with her work. Instead, she married a no good, mean drunk who had a hard time keeping a job.

She didn’t mind living so far away from the village. It was peaceful when Grizzly wasn’t around. Grizzly wasn’t his real name. They used to call him Bear, but someone who went to the colonies, a trapper, came back and dubbed him Grizzly. Said it was the biggest nastiest old bear he’d ever encountered. Had been lucky to get away with his life. Bear was more a grizzly than just a bear. He even had a hump on his back like a big grizzly had. Of course, Bear probably wasn’t his real name either.

Leah hoped that when she got up to the cabin, he would be asleep. She didn’t want to talk to him. He would want to talk if he was awake. She didn’t have anything to say to him. If he would just tell her he was sorry for what happened, she could forgive him.

He wouldn’t.

The man never apologized for anything. He was always cursing her, telling her she was no good, telling her she should speak up. Wasn’t normal for a woman to be so quiet. She didn’t want to talk louder. Didn’t want to talk to him at all. What she wanted was to visit her sanctuary. It would be too cold for that. Perhaps in the morning if the weather let up a bit, if it stopped snowing. From past experience she knew it wouldn’t.

“What you thinkin’ about. Leah? Shadow? He’s going to be alright, you know,” Stick asked as if her silence was getting to him.

He didn’t like it when she didn’t talk to him. Sometimes she just wanted to think. Stick never understood any of that.

“Yes and no. Mostly thinking I’d like the sky to stop churning out the snowflakes and warm up a bit.”

She tugged her coat sleeves lower so they would cover her fingers. They felt like ice. Might be ice by the time she made it home. She was glad before she left she made sure dinner was simmering over the fire. Fixing a meal was one less thing she had to think about. She told Doc a small fib so she would have an excuse to leave. She hoped he would forgive her for it.

“How come you told Doc Houston you had a pistol when you don’t?”

Stick was rummaging in the back just to make sure, she supposed. He wouldn’t find one. True, she lied a second time. If she hadn’t, he would have felt obligated to escort her home.

Leah shrugged her shoulders pondering the question. “I suppose to make him feel better. Didn’t need him taking me home or feeling obliged to do so. I’m not some fragile flower that will wilt if the going gets tough.”

“You look pretty fragile to me. You ken you always smell like wildflowers.”

She slanted him a look of reproach sending him a message that if he asked her a question, he should honor her in the process let her answer. “Don’t want to be indebted to any man more than I have to be. He’s helping Shadow just by keeping him warm as well as free of pain. Doc doesn’t need to do anything else for me. Nothing I might have to repay. Don’t have any funds to repay the man.”

Stick didn’t have anything to say to that. He held his tongue behind his teeth simply because he couldn’t refute anything she said. Men were creeps. Except for Stick. That was because he didn’t think or act like a man. Didn’t think like anyone except himself, which was refreshing. Stick cared about her. As far as she could tell, she was the only living breathing person in the small village of Selkirk who cared about Stick.

She probably saw Michael Graham as well as his two buddies before Stick sighted them only a second or two later. She squared her shoulders. Stick started quivering. He should leave now, hightail it home before Michael joined with his friends got closer. They would torment him if given a chance.

“Michael won’t hurt you. I won’t let him. If you want, you should leave now before they get too close,” she told him even though she knew he didn’t believe her while at the same time, she wasn’t entirely sure she believed herself.

Stick didn’t move. He whimpered. Over the years Michael changed from an arrogant bully to an arrogant bastard. The same could be said for his friends, only worse if that was possible. She wasn’t quite sure what the difference was, nevertheless she knew there was a difference.

Stick seemed frozen solid to the seat.

When they were abreast of the men, Michael stopped the mule before taking the reins from her hand. He looked into her eyes, held her attention too long while her breath caught in the back of her throat. She didn’t like the feelings that look from him generated. He wanted more from her than she was willing to give.

“What are you doing, Michael? Give those back to me. It’s cold out here. All I want right now is to get home before I freeze.”

She found herself breathing hard, her heart ricocheting beneath her ribs. Her body trembled.

“What are you doing in the village? It’s a little late don’t you think?” Michael moved closer to the wagon, to her. “Not safe for you to be out by yourself after dark.”

“Shadow was hurt. I took him to Doc Houston,” she said in her paper-thin voice. “Need to be going before the snow gets falling too fast.”

She didn’t want to talk to Michael. Didn’t want to be late getting back up the mountain. She was already late. Grizzly would be swearing at her. If he wasn’t dead asleep drunk.

“Not going to let you go, at least not until you grant me a few seconds of your time. Want to talk to you, Leah. It’s important, you know. You’ve got to have a few seconds for me. Need to ask you something important. Could change your life.”

He set one of his large hands on her knee and squeezed. She felt a moment of fear. Pushed it aside telling herself he wouldn’t hurt her. No, he wanted something else from her. Something she wasn’t willing to give. He wouldn’t force her. At least she didn’t belief so.

Resigned, she knew he would hold onto the reins until he had his way. She was helpless to stop him. All she could do was brace for whatever he wanted. So far, he’d not hurt her. In fact, he stopped his friends from hurting her once several years ago. It was at that time he seemed to change, at least his attitude toward her altered.

She’d been trying to walk across a bridge down by the old mill. He, with his friends saw her, teased her. Blocking her way, they kept her from the other side. She told him how mean he was. Informed him also that she thought he was better than acting the bully. It was then a strange look came over his face. He stabbed his hands into his hair. After a pause, he told his buddies to stop. With that said from the leader of the little gang, they allowed her to cross. Now, it seemed he was always trying to collect on that day. Told her she owed him.

“Can you make it fast. I’ve a ways to go.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s cold out here. By the time I get up that mountain, the snow could be knee deep.” She felt as if she was repeating herself. She was. He wasn’t listening.

“Well, I’d be happy to go with you. If I was driving on that seat next to you, I could make sure to keep you warm,” he said his grin growing wider as he said the words. “I’d wrap my arms around you, let you slip your tiny little hands inside my coat. Maybe anywhere else you’d like to glide them. Lower if you like.”

She shivered and clenched her teeth. She wasn’t at all sure about what he meant. Ignoring his comment, she went on to ask, “What is it you want to talk about?”

He cleared his throat. For a brief moment, she thought he might be nervous as she watched him shuffle his feet. “My father has promoted me, Leah. I’ve a room of my own now. It’s over the tavern. The room, well, it’s not just one but a suite of rooms. There is even a bathing room just for me along with my wife when I have one. Just got me a big feather bed, big enough my feet won’t hang over the edge when I sleep. Plenty of room for you, too, when you say I do to me.”

She didn’t know what to tell him. It all sounded very nice for him. However, Leah didn’t understand what his news had to do with her or why she might do any of those things he suggested. She’d never given him a single indication she was interested in spending her life with him as his wife or in any other capacity. She was growing more and more impatient. “Michael, is that it? Are you done?”

“No,” he responded quickly giving her knee another quick squeeze. “You know how much I like you. We could get married, live in those rooms, have children. I’m sure my father will be giving me more promotions. The inn is doing well. We’ll have plenty of money. I could give you things you don’t have now. You wouldn’t have to live with ol’ Grizzly.”

He touched her arm as if she would like the caress. She jerked away. He scowled at her. “You shouldn’t be lurching away from me, Leah. Who else is giving you an offer of marriage?” He looked to the Doc’s office down the street. “Certainly not Houston Stuart the town doc.”

“I can’t marry you, Michael. We don’t love each other.”

If there was one thing her mother inadvertently taught her was that she should love the man she married. Nothing else would do. Nor could she ever wed a man who made her skin crawl, even if he would be able to give her things. She didn’t need monetary things. She craved an intimacy that would permeate soul deep, a relationship that would fill her heart with love as well as happiness.

“If you won’t marry me, will you go to Marie’s party with me on Saturday night? I would come up the mountain to get you, bring you home too if you’d like. You’d be safe with me.”

“You ken I cannot. Grizzly would never let me go anywhere with a man.” She reached for the reins. He tugged them away making it harder for her. “Michael, please, let me go. I need to get home.”

“I don’t know anything of the sort. You can’t stay up on the mountain for the rest of your life. You need a man to protect you. Grizzly is going to make your life harder and harder. He’s not going to be around for many more years. Don’t turn down my offers. You might not ever get another one.”

“I cannot go to the party or anything else with you.”

She felt her exasperation all the way to the pit of her belly. She didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to make him understand.

Michael continued on ignoring her requests, repeating himself as if she didn’t hear the first time. “Grizzly’s not going to be around forever, you know. One of these days he’s going to drink himself to death. You can count on that. I won’t be a free man forever offering to make you an honest woman. You ken there are other women in this village, women who would like to marry me.”

Once more Leah grabbed for the reins to no avail. “I am an honest woman. No man can change that fact one way or the other. Why don’t you become an honest man and…” she heaved in a long breath of air searching for the right words.

“…and?” One of his dark brown eyebrows arched upward in question.

She let out a long-exasperated sigh. “I don’t know. Leave me alone. I can’t go to the party with you or anyone. Now, let me go. It’s getting colder by the minute. I don’t want to freeze before I get home. How many times do I have to say the words before you’ll listen to me?”

She had stuffed her hands in her pockets a few minutes ago. They warmed. A few seconds exposed to the frigid air they would once again feel like ice.

“You boys go on to the tavern. Think I’ll ride a ways with Leah. Want to make sure she stays safe. I’ll catch up to you later.”

His boys immediately left. They always did what Michael said. When Michael turned his attention to Stick, he leapt off the wagon intent on getting as far away from Michael as he could get as fast as possible. She watched as he disappeared down the street, the falling snow finally hiding him from view.

Michael still held the reins in his hands. He leapt onto the seat sitting close to her, closer than she felt comfortable. At his instruction, the mule started plodding down the road. She turned her face away from him, afraid now that they would be alone together. Leah didn’t want to be alone with a man, not now not ever. Unless perhaps, it was the doc. She paused staring back the way they’d come, looked toward Doc Houston’s place. A tiny quiver whipped through her belly. Heat pooled inside.

She didn’t know what to make of the feeling.

“You can’t stay with Grizzly all your life. You’re a grown woman. I want you to think about me. Think about the proposal along with all the other things I’ve told you.” He wrapped one of his arms around her, tugged her closer. He was strong and tall, a well-built man. She knew trying to distance herself was futile. He was right. There were other girls in Selkirk who would like his attention. She just wasn’t one of those girls.

They rode in silence for a while. She heard the crunch of the snow beneath the mule’s feet coupled with the wagon wheels the sound was soothing. She didn’t have anything more to say. He didn’t seem to, either. The flakes were freezing to the ground as soon as they fell. The weather smelled cold combined with the scent of the surrounding pines if that was possible. They passed by the MacKay house. Lights blazed in all the downstairs rooms. Brenda was pregnant again. She would be kneading bread and setting it aside to rise for the night. Her mouth watered thinking about the yeasty taste of the fresh baked bread.

He turned left toward the mountain. The winding trail in front of them would take her home. Grizzly would be angry if she showed up with a man. He told her more than once she wasn’t to go gettin’ herself with child. He wasn’t going to pay to bring up some man’s bastard. Michael would have to get off soon.

Her stepfather didn’t have to worry about anything like that. She wasn’t going to give herself to some man then find herself in the family way. She knew what was right from what was wrong.

“You should join your friends before they start rumors about us. You can’t ride with me all the way home.” She turned to Michael, for the first time looking at him, his profile.

He was a handsome man with chestnut colored hair. She couldn’t see his eyes now. Though she knew they were a deep, dark brown almost matching the color of his hair. His nose straight, his jaw hard and unyielding, she didn’t doubt he’d make some woman a good husband. That female just wasn’t going to be her. She tugged in a long breath of frigid air.

“No rumors. I won’t let that happen, Leah. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I care about you.” He pulled on the reins before hopping from the wagon. “Don’t like the outcome of the conversation. Fact of the matter is, even if I don’t like what you’re telling me, your no will have to do for now. You going to be alright?”

“I won’t change my mind. You deserve a woman who can love you. That isn’t me.” She would never lie to him, or take something she didn’t want.

“I’ve been told love can grow when given time.” He was making another argument then he’d most likely think of some other reason to present to her.

She wasn’t going to argue with the man. Quarreling wouldn’t get her anywhere. “Thank you for taking me this far. It will only take me about fifteen minutes now to get home. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re welcome. I’m not going to stop asking, Leah. You can count on it. There isn’t anyone else around that I’d like to be my wife.”

After he jumped from the wagon, he gave the backside of the mule a swat then whistling, showed her his back as he headed into town, after that on to the tavern. With a tiny shake to her head, she watched him saunter down the old trail. No, he probably would not quit asking anytime soon. She was sure, though, in time he would turn his attention to someone else.

The snow let up a minute as she moved farther into the forested area. Somewhere in the wintery sky an owl hooted. Another answered. A wolf howled in the thick stormy air. Wind shrilled through barren trees. She passed by the rundown Fletcher place. Even with the moisture cleansing the air, she smelled the garbage along with the ill-kept pens that housed the hogs. They had one horse. Its stable was muddied, mired in goop. One light burned in a back room. They had two children. Friendly little mites even if they were always dirty.

If she had children…

She stifled her laughter. She didn’t think she would ever have children even though she wanted at least one. Sometimes she didn’t think she would ever come down off the mountain even though she yearned to return to the highlands. She didn’t suppose there would be much left of her home now after five years of emptiness. Maybe if she could save a few coins, she could return and see what was still standing. If she were lucky, no one would have moved into the abandoned home. She could clean up the dirt, make it habitable.

Leah saw the light from the fireplace in their tiny hut. The golden-red flames glowed in the darkness. Shadow would have heard the wagon lumber up the road. He would have greeted her with barks if he weren’t staying comfortable in Doc Houston’s office. He rested by the fire. He was warm. Comfortable. Tears welled in her eyes. She pushed them back.

After taking care of the mule, she walked into the house. Truthfully, she didn’t want to go inside. Wouldn’t if it weren’t so darn cold. She swallowed hard before stiffening her shoulders to brace herself for her stepfather’s spewing of his wrath. Sometime before marrying her mother and now he found religion. Of course, he was pious only when it suited him.

“Where you been, Girl?” Grizzly was sitting at the table, drinking from the jug. A dirty plate sat in front of him. At least he had dinner. She would only have to wait a short amount of time for him to sleep.

“Took Shadow to the village. Thought maybe Doc Houston could mend him.” She wanted to hear an apology from the man. He wouldn’t apologize. “You hurt him real bad.”

“Can he fix him up?”

He drank long and deep before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His fierce scowl told her he’d already heard enough about her dog.

“Don’t think so,” she murmured as she bent over to stir the stew she left. “Have you eaten?” she asked even though she saw the dirty plate sitting in front of him.

Sometimes he wanted more. Problem was he was too lazy to dish up the food himself. She would have to get it for him.

“Aye. You be goin’ back tomorrow to bring the mangy cur home? That dog’s not worth your time. He’s old and worn out, good for nothin’ if you ask me. Don’t suppose you would be askin’ though. Can’t even move to get out of my way. Nearly killed myself trippin’ over the mutt.” Grizzly pounded his fist on the table, rocking the spoon that was resting in his plate.

Leah ignored him as she tried to keep the evil thoughts from pounding into her head. Sometimes her mind spun in the wrong directions. At this moment, she didn’t have one good thought for her stepfather. She pulled in a sip of air to steady herself. Let it out slowly as she fought for the patience she needed to deal with this irascible old man.

“Yes. I’ve got to see Shadow in the morning.” Before he dies or help bury him if he doesn’t make it through the night. From the look on Houston’s face when he told her he would make him comfortable, she didn’t think Shadow would see another day.

She understood she needed to stay out of Grizzly’s way. He would badger her until she would have to leave, go outside to wait until he fell asleep. She dished up a bowl of stew for herself then sat down in the tiny alcove where her bed was fastened. She ate until she was satisfied. She cleaned up the dishes. Scooped what was left of the stew into a jar before setting the container in a cold room just off the back porch.

Grizzly spent an hour mumbling while drinking before he stripped to his underwear. He settled in his bed, the jug of whiskey dangling from his fingers. When he started snoring, Leah let out a tiny sigh of relief. He would still be asleep when she left to go down the mountain in the morning.

She curled up on her bed, her hands under her cheek. Her fingers were still cold. She rose to put another log on the fire then returned to the bed.

Shadow…

Doc Houston didn’t lie to her. Didn’t come right out and tell her the truth either. He would keep her dog comfortable. She understood what that meant. After she thought of shadow along with the fact he would be in a better place where there was no pain and no Grizzly, all she could think about was Houston’s strong gentle hands, his kind silver-blue eyes.

~ * ~

“She loves me. I can hear it in her voice.” Michael sat down with his friends, Quaid and Ryan. He wasn’t going to tell his friends the real reason for his apparent attraction to Leah Kennedy. The devil he was enamored of what she could bring him. Leah possessed a willowy grace along with a kindness that touched his soul, even started to heal his jaded heart. He’d always been mean. Had a chip on his shoulder from all the beatings his father administered. He thought that was the way to treat everyone, hurt them before they hurt him. As far as girls were concerned, he had no respect for them.

Until he encountered Leah.

Leah was different. Her very difference would give him what he wanted. He grinned.

It wasn’t because she was the most beautiful girl he ever set his eyes on. The amazing part of that was she didn’t know nor did she seem to care. She wasn’t anything like Marie Hughes who flaunted herself around all the young men. If he wanted to, he was sure he could coax Marie into bed. He was also sure she wasn’t a virgin. There had been rumors last summer that her innocence had been stolen by some gent in Edinburgh. Now, it seemed she had her sights set on the doc despite his disability. He didn’t know why all the ladies thought Doc Houston was such a good catch. Everyone knew doctors were poor.

Leah was a virgin though. He was sure of that. He wanted her not just to bed her but to have her for his amusements. She was his. He would make sure of that. He’d be the envy of every man around Selkirk to Edinburgh then on to Glasgow. What he didn’t know was how to convince her he was the right man for her. Hell, what choices did she have here? Just the Doc. Houston Stuart wouldn’t want such a fey creature.

He was educated.

More than most.

Leah seemed to be pretty smart too. He didn’t know if she could read and write. Most women around these parts couldn’t do either. If she married him, she could help out in the inn, wait on tables when needed. She could do the books if she could cipher numbers.

“Leah is going to the party with you then,” Quaid asked with a smirk then looked at Ryan. “You going to let the rest of the village know she’s yours?”

“No, seems she doesn’t want to. I’m making progress though. I think she almost said yes. The look in her eyes told me she wanted to even though she’s afraid of Grizzly.” Michael waved his hand in the air to get the bar maid’s attention. She waltzed over then plopped on his lap. She smoothed the front of his shirt while she leaned into him, pressing her breasts against him in invitation. He liked the way she felt all warm and soft just like a woman should feel.

“Yeah, he’s a mean devil, that one,” Ryan said.

“What can I get for you?” she purred as she stroked his cheek.

She kissed him where her fingers lingered, her little tongue lightly touching his skin.

He pulled her close. His mouth slanting over hers, he wrapped his tongue around hers. Michael liked the lady. Betsy was her name. Slept with her several nights ago. He would do so again if he wanted, if she was willing. He didn’t have any doubts. Tonight, maybe if she didn’t have another customer waiting for her. She didn’t charge him though. Momentarily, he thought of Leah. He shrugged. A man had needs.

There were other women besides Betsy. He wasn’t sure if he’d curb his desires when he married Leah. One woman was never enough for him. He didn’t think that would change in the future. Perhaps Leah would prove to be so passionate in bed he wouldn’t want another woman. That brought a chuckle rumbling up from deep in his lungs. He didn’t think so.

“A glass of ale along with some of that warm bread I smell baking. After that I want you, darling, that’s what I want.” He pinched her fanny as he thought of other parts of her he would also enjoy toying with.

She squeaked. “Me? You want me? Well, if you like you can have all your wishes.”

“Later,” he said as he gave her nearly barred breast a soft squeeze before putting her on the floor. “I’m starving.”

“After my hours are done. You know where to find me. Don’t have anyone else waiting for me.”

Michael leaned back in his chair, his long legs stretched out in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest while he watched little Betsy sashay her pretty fanny to the bar to bring him his drink. He hardened thinking about later tonight. Wished it was Leah he would be bedding tonight. He would have her soon. Damn but he was a lucky man, no denying that fact.

“So, who you going to take to the party?”

He kept his eyes on the barmaid. “Don’t know. Have to do some serious thinking. Not going to show up there alone. Maybe little Elisa, if I can stand all that carrot red hair for an evening.” He thought about that some more. Yes, Elisa would never turn him down, never did. He could bring her up to his rooms over the inn after the dance and make love to her. He’d had her there before. She was easy. Not like Leah.

Leah was a challenge. Maybe that was why he wanted her so desperately. No, there were other more important reasons he wanted Leah.

The threesome stayed at the tavern for several hours. Nearing midnight his friends left with some of the other serving maids. When Betsy served him, he pulled her onto his thighs, one hand firmly around her breast, sliding the fabric lower so he could rub his thumb over the hard tip.

“I’m your only customer now. Should we leave?” His other hand roamed the length of her leg. Giggling, she squirmed against him.

“You have to wait,” she laughed then nipped him on the ear.

“Don’t want to wait.”

“I’ll ask the boss.”

He let her go, watching her again, wishing she was Leah. When he swept her off her feet to carry her up the steps to her room above, she giggled again. By the time they reached the small bed where they would sleep, she was half undressed as was he.

He let the clothing he’d taken off her fall to the floor as he set her on the bed before spreading her legs. He was inside her. She was hot and swollen, slick with her need. He roared his pleasure as he left his seed inside her hot, moist sheath.

“You can take it a bit slower next time,” Betsy purred rubbing her hands along his sweat sheened back. “What had you so desperate you couldn’t wait?”

“You know,” he murmured.

“Leah.”