Edinburgh, Scotland

1842

 

“You don’t mean it. What did I do? No, please… Don’t…”  Perplexed, Lexi looked over the rim of her champagne glass at the man who never truly held her heart. She wasn’t in love with him. Even so, his rejection hurt, stung to the tips of her slippers. This relationship lasted three long weeks, much longer than most of the liaisons she’d had. Many of her beaus endured only a day or two before crying off. She thought this man might be the one for her even though he bored her to tears. Just now, he shocked her with his unexpected declaration. The words arrived out of the blue, totally bewildering. “You’re breaking it off with me? Truly?” How dare he? In the middle of the fête no less. Everyone’s eyes were glued on them, waiting to start the rumors that would circulate nonstop. “You can’t do that. Not here. Not now!” She didn’t mean to raise her voice. She would be the laughing stock of all her friends and especially those who were not friends, her enemies. Tears twisted, threatened to erupt then slide down her cheeks. She battled herself.

“That’s what I said. Didn’t you listen? Good God, are you deaf?” He waved his hands in the air as if to give emphasis to his statement. “We’re done. Through,” he said in a too quiet voice. The one that always made her skin crawl as if little critters walked over her. The quiet voice that had everyone nearby tuning into what was being said. No one wanted to miss a beat. Everyone hoped to learn what they were saying. They would be the on dit on everyone’s lips.

“Why? I haven’t done anything wrong. You can’t just…not right now. Not in the middle…” She hated herself for protesting. Loathed herself for hanging on to something that was at an end. Why the hell was she begging? During the last week she guessed this was coming. Because of the little things he didn’t say, she understood the split would be soon. Despised the fact she was willing to beg to get him to change his mind.

“That’s just it, sweetheart. You’ve done nothing to prove yourself to me, to show me how much you appreciate my attention. I’ve wined and dined you for three long weeks. Haven’t received anything in return. A few chaste kisses but that’s all. Want a lot more tongue. Hoped there should be some gesture of good will on your part. Don’t you think? I would consider courting you for another week if you would give yourself to me. Need to see a little skin. Feel your passion. Come with me to my townhouse. I’ll show you a good time.”

For one more week? Lexi mouthed the words. He was crude. “What do you mean? Give myself to you? See skin? Passion?” Not being naïve, Lexi asked but she understood all too clear what he was demanding. To retaliate, she almost tossed her champagne in his face. He wanted her in his bed. Beneath him while he surged inside her, between her legs. Told her so, too many times to count what he thought should happen. She needed to show him if she would be good in his bed. Said she should repay all the money he spent on her with the use of her feminine parts. That’s what he said…feminine parts. Sleeping with him was the only way to even up the score. Her body shuddered with repugnance. She didn’t even like the sloppy kisses that left her demanding air or the ever-groping fingers she tried to push away from her breasts whenever he drank too much. The man was a lush. She could never give herself to this person. Despite all the rumors to the contrary, she wasn’t easy.

“Believe you know what I mean, baby.” He ran his hand down her back, stopped on her rump. Fondled for a few seconds. “I would stay with you, if you gave it to me tonight. Showed me all of yourself. As I said earlier, we could go to my place.” With a lift of his narrow shoulders he winked, “Otherwise, I’m looking for new fields to plow. A débutante who’s not afraid to show me what she has to offer. Won’t ever tie the knot with a woman I haven’t slept with.”

“New fields to plow? Show you what I have to offer?” she asked, not appreciative of everything he was saying. From his lewd advances she didn’t have trouble guessing what he hoped for. “Nothing. That’s what I’m willing to grace your presence with. If my glass wasn’t empty, I’d toss the champagne in your face.”

She’d had two seasons along with one little season. No one she danced with or spoke to during all that time interested her. They all bored her to tears. Not a single person claimed her heart. At least Seamus was good looking, even though he was a little thin for her taste. She thought a man with broader shoulders along with well-muscled thighs was more appealing. At this point she couldn’t afford to be too choosy. She thought the act repulsive when he pulled out his mustache comb in the middle of a fête then combed the hair above his lips, twirling the ends as if he was God’s gift to the female population. At times, Lexi thought to grab the utensil then toss it out the window. Now, her thoughts evident, what the bloody hell was she doing begging him to renew their friendship? Truth be told, she didn’t care if they were friends let alone lovers. The thought of being naked with this man gave her shudders.

The problem, as she read the picture, was that he had the nerve to break up with her…in public no less. She would become the laughing stock of the ton. Heat flooded her face. Deep mortification cascaded through her. Everyone in the ballroom had stopped dancing to stare at them then remark on the situation. The chatter about her escalated. Caught off guard she didn’t know what to do. While she wished she dared run from the room, she couldn’t humiliate herself further. Leaving would be construed as the coward’s way out. Holding her head high was the only way to make an exit.

Pausing for a moment, searching for strength, Lexi tilted her chin in the air then straightened her shoulders. This wasn’t going to be the last these people heard about her. She did understand most in this room thought of her as a light skirt. So be it. More rumors about her character would be brought to light after this evening. Seamus was certain to tell everyone how she spread her legs for him. What she needed was to show these stuffy, prudish people she didn’t care what they thought. She had a few friends.

Seamus grabbed her by the arm, turning her to face him. With a sneer in his voice, he spoke through his teeth. “You aren’t going to beg or plead anymore? I’ve got the one sure fire way for you to stay in my good graces.”

Her eyes narrowed, “And what would that be?” Lexi was pretty certain she wouldn’t welcome what this despicable man implied. He wanted her to give up her virtue for him. That’s what they all wanted. Didn’t make a difference if the man was a duke or a baron or a wealthy merchant. They all wanted two things: her maidenhead along with her money. These men weren’t going to be the recipients of either commodity. She also realized if she gave it away, the man would leave her for the next virgin. If the man married her for her money, he would not be true to her. There would be women on the side. Mistresses. Whores. Dalliances she would never hear about. Once he had his heir along with a spare, she would be milk toast.

“You’re a little strumpet. So, what difference does it make? Spread your legs for me and I’ll keep you around. You have for countless others. Why not me? We can have some fun.”

“How magnanimous of you!” Her anger burned deep. She simmered with unspoken rage. In the beginning, Lexi thought this man might be different from the others. Every time she refused a young rake, they started gossip flowing around her. Nothing was going to be different. What she needed was a change of scenery. She needed to go somewhere nobody knew her.

Understanding that as soon as she did as the suitor demanded, he would be gone. Poof, he would vanish in the night to scam another stupid débutante. This idiot must have stuck around for three weeks thinking he would wear her down. All the other men who courted her gave up after a few days. For her, three weeks was a long time for any man to continue with the quest to rob her of her virtue.

These men wanted her for what they believed she could bring them, nothing more. She was holding out for love. Now all she wanted was to disappear into the flower covered walls. Behind a potted palm might do the trick. Who was she kidding? She needed to figure out a way to make the ton realize she didn’t care about the gossip revolving around her. They would know she could pick herself up from the floor then dance another day. A broken courtship was nothing new to this woman. She would endure.

Tonight, Lexi wished to make a statement. What this declaration was she wasn’t positive. She searched the room for her best friend hoping for support in the upcoming battle.

“What do you say?” Seumas tightened his hold on her arm, giving a little shake. “You going to come to my townhouse? Open yourself up to me. Play the night away?”

“Go to the devil.” She wrenched away before starting forward, intending to make it to the cloak room then leave.

“Not so fast, sweetheart,” Seumas growled, the tenor of his voice a threat. He stepped in front of her. When she tried to move around him, he continued to block her path. “Give me what I want then I’ll give you what you want.”

She inhaled several deep breaths of air, trying to curb her fury as well as striving for patience she didn’t feel. “We don’t see eye to eye on this matter. Never will. I don’t intend to give you anything. Pretend we never met each other. I will. Never wish to see your face.” Again, she tried to go around him with no success.

Now, instead of trying to move past him, she turned then walked in the opposite direction. She saw her friend Mila at the other end of the room and headed toward her, hoping Seumas would get the hint. Just as he was finished with her, she’d had enough of him. She was done…done. Done!

She didn’t wish to humiliate herself further. She would never give him what he wanted. Would never grace his bed. What she needed was a man who would care about her feelings. Seumas was a bloody cad, a dishonest rake, a womanizer. The list of insults could go on. He wouldn’t see the words as insults but as his prowess. At least she finally saw him for who he was. Looking back, she realized all the men who courted her lacked funds. They were all poor. What they were looking for was a woman who would dump a substantial dowery at their feet. She didn’t intend to be that woman. They could all go to hell for all she cared.

“Mila…” She reached her friend. “Let’s get out of here,” she whispered and realized her words were lost in the noise.

“Lexi? What do you need? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Mila took her by the arm, leading her to a place away from the crush of people. They were in a small nook near the door leading to the library.

“You’re being nice. By now this entire ballroom knows Seumas broke up with me. I must get out of here. He keeps blocking my path. Going to show everyone in this room I don’t care what any of them think of me. Let them believe the worst. Men…!”

“We could crash the Duke of Clarence’s ball. What do you think?” Mila offered the outrageous suggestion. Neither had been invited. Mila was always there to lift her spirits. A mischievous smile graced her lovely features. “That would create a topnotch scandal. Are you up for it? You truly want to show these aristocrats you don’t care what they think of you. I’ve got the right plan.”

“Yes,” Lexi paused a few beats, thinking about the proposition. Sucking in air, she began to speak. “That would be just what I need. Don’t mind creating a scandal when it’s of my choosing. Tonight, the more extreme the better. Whatever we can get away with.” Lexi felt her heart begin to thunder. “Let them all believe I’m a trollop. They don’t know what I could give them and they never will.”

Making a statement would set the ton straight about her feelings for Seumas. Crashing the duke’s party would tell everyone she was over him. “We could…” What she was thinking was scandalous. That’s how she felt. Disgraceful. Wicked. Needed to set them all on their ears. Didn’t mind being the talk of Glasgow as long as the talk was on her terms.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Mila said with a grin too wide, always eager to be her shadow. “Let’s take everything off except our gowns. We can dampen the silk. Everyone will see what we have to offer. We’ll show all those men who look down their long, thin noses what they are missing.”

“Yes,” Lexi agreed, as she was thinking about how her nipples would show quite clearly beneath the light blue silk of her ballgown. With excitement, her body hummed to life. Anticipation erupting as she thought of the gossip she would create. These little bouts of retribution were why the men who attended these affairs believed she was easy to get into their beds. She never minded telling the rogues, they weren’t good enough for her. Would never be good enough to share intimacies.

Mila linked her arm with hers. They started for the coatroom. Once inside they divested themselves of all undergarments, leaving them on the floor. Lexi giggled as she felt the silken touch of her gown slide over her unencumbered body. The sensations were decadent, a little like swimming naked. Before leaving, she wrapped her matching cloak around herself, intending to remain covered until they were introduced at the duke’s party.

When the pair stepped outside to wait for her coach, rain poured from the sky. Lexi slipped the cloak off her shoulders then twirled around in the rain. The wet fabric clung to her body, molding every curve to perfection. Water dripped from her nose. Never thinking about repercussions, she laughed with the fantasy she was living. When she entered the ball, all the men would see was what they could never possess. Never…never ever…Lexi vowed.

“Is this what you were talking about? I saw a Lord’s mistress with her dampened gown. Could see the rouged nipples. The man liked what he saw. They danced. He bent low to whisper in her ear. If it’s alright for them, why should it be so wrong for me?” Lexi ran her palms across the hard tips of her breasts. The sensations energized. She felt an instant surge of heat.

“I don’t have an answer for you,” Mila said with a kittenish purr to her voice. “Somehow I think…”

“No misgivings.” Lexi interrupted. “We’re going to move forward. Show all here we don’t care about rumors or gossip,” Lexi said, shaking her finger at the girl. “There’s my coach.” She looked to her driver. “To the Duke of Clarence’s ball. Don’t leave the front of his home. We might need to make a hasty getaway.” She wasn’t intending to think that way. “We are going to have a wonderful time. Shock all the prudish mamas along with the stuffy fathers, their doting daughters as well”. All the men will stare then wish they could possess. She wouldn’t give any part of her to a man here. ‘Look, don’t touch’ was her mantra. Tomorrow there would be a wealth of gossip. Her stepfather would have a fit. Threaten. Bluster. Where discipline was concerned, he was hot air. She decided she would go shopping tomorrow. Needed to replace the undergarments she left on the floor in the coatroom.

The uninvited pair strode into the ball without being introduced. Lexi swayed to the music. Watched the beautiful couples swirl around the room. Wished there was someone here she could dance with. The hired orchestra was divine. More food than all these people could eat sat on table after table. She snared a glass of wine as a waiter walked by. Gulped it down. The drink was meant to give courage for the next phase.

“Would you care to dance?” the male voice was behind her.

“Oh…what? Me? You want to dance with me?” She’d not expected to get an invitation this soon. The revealing gown must have spurred the rake to see what she wasn’t willing to give. What she anticipated was getting tossed out on her ear. Didn’t expect to be on the dance floor longer than it would take for the duke to find a few good men to usher her from the premises. So be it. When the expulsion came, she would hold her head high.

“Yes…” The young man laughed at her surprise. “You are…” He looked her up then down, resting on her breasts then lower to where the fabric clung to the juncture between her legs. “Ravishing. A treat for this man’s eyes.”

She pushed up her chin then squared her shoulders. “I would like to dance. Thank you for asking.”

He pulled her too close. Slid one hand to her butt as if he owned her. She didn’t even know his name. Lexi understood what he wanted. What every other Scottish male wanted. The message received was the same from all the men she’d been with. They wanted more of her than she was willing to give. What she intended was to play their game without giving into them. Make them squirm with need.

Dance after dance followed. Whispers about her circled the room. Just as intended, she was making a statement. Lexi tossed her head back and laughed from sheer delight.

Her partner bent to whisper close to her ear. Touched the lobe with the tip of his tongue. A little shudder whipped through her. Next to her ear, he growled. “Want to leave with me? My apartments aren’t far from here. I’ll show you a good time. No strings attached. Just you and me for the night. Give you what you are asking for.”

She leaned back to see into his eyes. “What? You don’t want my money? You’re asking because you like me?” No, he was asking because he thought she was an easy mark. Because he could see her nipples and more.

“Who are you?” He growled out the question as if taken aback by her statement. “Thought by the way you were dressed you would want me as much as I want you. Am I wrong?” he asked, sounding astounded by the notion.

She tapped the young rake on the shoulder with her fan. Sent him a coquettish wink. Touched her top lip with her tongue to give him a new site. “Why, I’m just one of the richest ladies here. If you are a gambling man…” Lexi decided to let the statement falter. If he was a gambling man, her dowry would vanish within a fortnight. Her stepfather would never give the man all of it at once. He intended to dole the money out one meager spoonful at a time. Besides, it was obvious this rake wanted her body not her groats. Hadn’t gone as far as thinking about what else he could claim from her.

That was another thorn in her side when it came to finding a husband. While she didn’t disagree with her father, he hurt her chances of finding a husband by withholding her inheritance. Lexi let out a long sigh as she realized the man was waiting for an answer.

“For your information, despite what you are thinking about me, I don’t go to men’s apartments. Not going to lie in your bed tonight or any other one in the future.” Seumas’ words haunted her. She knew he spread the gossip that he slept with her. His words were a lie.

If you won’t spread your legs for me, I don’t…won’t take a chance on you. My future wife needs to give me what I want when I want it. She needs to be passionate, not some cold stone who will lie beneath me and not respond.

There was more than one sob story circulating about the men who asked for the same as Seumas. Many young débutantes gave in to the request. Once they did, they were left high and dry, no longer a maiden and no longer courted by the man. Once they opened themselves to the swain wooing them, the gossip was spread from one dandy to the next. After the girl succumbed, the lady was shunned by one and all. Talked about as an easy lay. Even the other women spurned them. With hands covering their mouths they spoke about the poor lass not just behind her back but right in front of her.

“Dance with me?” Another rake stood beside her, leering at her, his eyes focusing on all she displayed. Her skin did a little shimmy of nerves. Even though he was handsome, she wasn’t certain she wanted another dance. Believed she would be long gone from the ballroom by this time. Was about to say no then find Mila. A quick retreat seemed in order. She’d overstayed her welcome.

She was beginning to tire of the game. Needed to step away. Realized she made a huge mistake. This little shenanigan of hers wasn’t going to gain her anything. In the scope of things, this would set her back miles. She no longer felt good about making these men ogle her. Knew each and every rogue she danced with needed to adjust his britches when she walked away. She’d been around the block with too many men not to recognize what was driving them. Was able to tell when they were rock hard wanting her. The power she held no longer delighted but depressed. This wasn’t the way she wanted her life to go.

For the first half hour, the feeling felt good. They were aroused with no surcease. It was what they deserved though she didn’t have any doubts that before the evening came to its conclusion, they would find some female to give them what they needed. That woman wasn’t going to be her.

When she looked around the room for Mila, she couldn’t find her. Abandoned once again. With a heavy sigh floating from her lips, she decided she should vacate the ball. Leave before the duchess had her forcibly removed. Why the removal hadn’t happened yet was beyond her comprehension.

The crush was too thick for her to make much headway. She turned sideways to shimmy through a small space. Found a hand on her arm guiding her in a direction she didn’t intend. The cloak room was in the opposite direction.

“No!”

“Yes, sweetheart. You’re going to give me what I need. All that I want. I’ve been watching you display your female charms for the last ten minutes. You flirt then say your goodbyes. Not this time. This time you will pay up.” They stood outside on the balcony. Most people used the place to cool down. This cad seemed to want the evening to heat up. His hand passed along her veiled and prominent nipple. She sipped air. The movement brought the silk covering lower to reveal more of her. Cold air swept across the tips. Rain pelted her, making all that had been drying over the last hour more visible. The bare tip of her breast puckered.

“No, I’m leaving.” She wrenched from the man, heading through the milling people toward the front of the room. She pulled her gown to cover as much as she could. Panic struck, she hurried. “Don’t want what you want,” she mumbled, thinking the man wouldn’t hear her. Lexi didn’t believe he followed. She was wrong.

He grabbed her again. Twisted her. They were face to face. “Not so fast, baby. There is restitution to pay here. If not, I will hand you over to the constables. Believe the duke sent for the cops a half hour ago. They should be here any minute. If you behave yourself, I’ll run interference. If not…” he let the rest of his thoughts hang in the air.

What he meant wasn’t difficult to decipher. “Cops,” she whispered, astonished by the man’s announcement. She never expected cops. Behaving herself must mean letting him feel her up. If she ended the evening in jail, her stepfather would be furious. Might refuse to bail her out. She’d find herself stuck there for how long?

There was no reason to panic. This man was just blustering to get his way, making threats for his purpose. There was no truth in what he said. “You’re lying.”

“Do you wish to take the chance?” he asked as they walked across the open patio to another door. Once inside, the man closed then locked it behind him. “Now…” He stood back to look her over. “You are quite the pretty little thing. You would make me a fine mistress.” He continued his perusal. “Breasts just the right size. Tight puckered nipples ready for this man to taste as well as dally with. And…” he let his gaze drop, “the color of your hair, there where your slender thighs meet…perfect, just a bit darker than the hair on your pretty head. Though I would need to lift your skirt to be certain.”

“Mistress?” If she could laugh, she would. The man clearly didn’t know her name nor did he seem to care. “Do you know who I am? My stepfather would have your head for just thinking let alone saying the word! Mistress, hah! Never in a million years.” She turned to leave. He blocked her way.

“Who is your stepfather?” He was laughing at her. His hoot of laughter unnerved her. Understood in that instant, she was way over her head.

Identifying Stuart to this man was improbable. Stuart abhorred scandal of any kind. Her stepfather was the stuffiest of the stuffiest. She was bound to get a lecture tomorrow when the duke sent a message to him. That is if the duke saw her. This man told her the duke sent for a constable. Lexi had no doubt he lied. Constables were trouble most aristocrats didn’t want to invest.

What if he didn’t lie? If the cops were on the way… She needed to leave the premises…now!

The forthcoming lecture would not be the first and would probably not be the last. She would let Stuart’s words go in one ear then out the other. He never meant anything by the lecture. There was never punishment. Within the hour, it was as if nothing happened. Once the talking-to was done, she would be able to pick up her world where it left off before. She would shop with her friends. Spend money on clothing she didn’t need. Visit the most well-known fashion designers. See the next play or go to the opera with her sister. They would dine in the finest establishments.

“I’m leaving. Don’t wish to give you what you’re asking. Not going to your apartment or any man’s,” Lexi blustered as she turned to walk out the door. She realized it was locked. A little shiver of fear shuffled through her. “Unlock the door.” She turned to lean against the solid wood.

“Ah, but I do believe I will need a token of goodwill before I let you go. You, my dear girl, have intrigued me. Shown me more than what would be considered fashionable for a young débutante. Believe something I can savor would be a delight. The tips of your luscious breasts come to mind.” To make the point, his focus dropped to her breasts, lingering.

Lexi was through flirting. “Look all you want but don’t touch. Not going to allow you to savor any part of me,” She’d gone too far this time. This wasn’t the way her little excursion was meant to play out. Seumas wasn’t even here to see her shine, as well as hear about all he was missing. This man wasn’t moving. “What do you want?”

He pressed against her. She felt the evidence she hoped to avoid. His hands were braced on either side of her head. If there was anywhere for her to go, she would sneak under his arm. “A little kiss is all I need. Want to see what you taste like. Do you taste as good as you feel?” He rubbed his chest against her breasts.

When he sought to meld his mouth with hers, she turned away from him. His lips landed on her cheek. She fought through her muddled mind to find a way to diffuse the situation unfolding. If she didn’t think fast, this man would have what she’d been saving for her husband. He was far too determined.

“No…” she tried for more conviction in her tone. Didn’t succeed.

“But I think you want this. What you are wearing…” He stepped back. “…speaks to a man, tells a man you are willing, advertising your secrets. Says I will take anyone enthusiastic to claim me.” He touched the palm of his hand to the hard tip. She shivered from the coldness suffusing her body from the wet fabric, not his unasked-for caress.

“I was leaving when you brought me here. I don’t want you to touch me. I’ve had a change of heart.” She could appeal to his better side.

“A change of heart, you say. Don’t believe a word out of your very lovely, kissable lips. You are a provocative little thing, daring in the extreme. Too bold for your own good. You never told me who your stepfather is. A name would be more than nice.”

“Won’t tell you something there is no need for you to know. Suffice it to say,” she pressed her hands against his chest, “he would not be pleased that you are accosting me in the duke’s home.”

“Accosting you? Dressed as you are. I think not. No one would believe the fabricated story.” One masculine eyebrow shot toward the ceiling. “What can I do to help you change your mind, baby?” He questioned as he trailed his knuckles down her cheek then lower to her neck. The caress across her collarbone made her gasp for air.

“No! I’m going.” She tried to duck beneath his arms. “If you remove your arms, I will be on my way.”

He lowered his elbows far enough to keep her from escaping. “Don’t think so, babes. Tell me your name first. Before you try to get away, need to learn your name. This won’t be the last time we see each other.”

“Don’t bet on it.”

The door she hoped to leave this stuffy room from opened. A sliver of bright light entered into the semidarkness. A gust of hot air followed. A gruff clearing of a male throat set her heart to double time. “There you are. Thank you, Liam. You’ve done a fine job. Kept the little tart here until the constables could arrive. I want to know she will pay for the disruption of my duchesses’ party. My duchess swooned at the sight of her. Had to fetch the smelling salts.”

“I enjoyed our brief conversation,” she mumbled in another attempt to leave.

Liam? Constable?

“Take her out of here. This young lady has disrupted my ball far too much. Her deportment is a disgrace to her father. Before the evening is finished, I will be speaking with Stuart. My friend should learn how his daughter behaves. Scandalous.”

“No!” Lexi’s worst nightmare was coming true. They were going to take her to jail. He would talk to her father. A load of male scented air stumbled into her lungs then cigar fumes combined with whiskey. Send her home. A slap on the hand would suffice. That’s all they needed to do. She understood the huge faux pas she committed. This other man, Liam, kept her here so she would be taken away. Handcuffed. Taken to jail.

With her hands cuffed in front of her, Lexi was led from the room then away from the huge mansion. As she stepped outside, a brisk breeze battered her. Lights blared from the windows above. From the street she could still hear music coupled with laughter. No one brought her the cloak she’d worn. More rain pelted her as she tripped down the steps then was roughly pushed into a prison wagon. She fell on the dirty floor, her cuffed hands bracing her fall. When she righted herself, her palms bled from the scrapes on the rough wooden floor. No one was going to know where she was. No, that wasn’t right. The duke said he would talk to Stuart. Her stepfather wouldn’t come to help her if he didn’t know what happened. He would pay to free her. After what she did, would he come to a jail to bail her out? Would he ever forgive her? Her mother would insist he post the money so she could get out of this abominable predicament. Mother would never leave her in a jail cell.

As they traveled through the streets of Edinburgh, she listened to the rumble of the wheels on the cobblestones. The night was fading into early morning. The streets would be filling with vendors. Through the open windows, she heard the low murmur of voices. The worst of her troubles were just beginning.

At the small jail, she passed through the main office. Warmth surrounded her. One of the jailers released her wrists. Papers were shuffled. She signed her name on two. A guard was called to escort her to a cell. The stench of unwashed bodies lurked, gagging her. The light in the small space was dim. Shadows danced on the dirty walls. Her stomach lurched.

“Go on with you. Don’t get timid now.” She found herself pushed from behind. “Don’t waste no time. This is where you’re going to live for a wee bit. Bet your wealthy da will have you out of here in no time. Of course, when he’s told that his little darlin’ is selling her body, he might have different ideas.”

Selling my body?

She was ushered inside a cell. The key was turned in the lock. She stood in a small space furnished with a small cot and a steel chamber pot. Her body shuddered. Frozen, in a daze of fear, embarrassed to the tips of her toes, she stared at the chamber pot. No one truly expected her to…to… No, she would be given some privacy.

Jail was just dandy. In all her life, she never expected to end up in one of Edinburgh’s finest holding centers. Never thought to find herself incarcerated…behind bars…locked away. These places were pitiful.

She had to pee. Too many glasses of champagne had her nearly doubled over in pain. The only place to go was a steel chamber pot sitting in the corner of a small cubicle. In the cell next to hers a man was ogling her, leering, staring at her nipples. Things went from bad to worse in a blink of an eye. She licked her parched lips. Tried to rub feeling into her frozen arms. She crossed then uncrossed her legs, over then over again as if that would help her situation.

Time passed. Her heart continued to beat while she kept sucking air into her lungs. She heard the prisoner. Realized the man could see all of her through the thin silk of her gown. To hide herself, she crossed her arms in front of her. Knew the gesture hid little.

A hoot of laughter then a snort, “That won’t do you a bit of good, little lassie. Can still see that place between your sweet legs. If we were in the same space, I’d give you a little poke. Have you moaning with the pleasure.” He laughed again, “You don’t have enough hands to cover all of you. Since you chose to reveal yourself in such a delightful way, don’t mind if I look my fill. Never been a man to refuse an invitation.”

Trying to ignore the other prisoner, she hit the bars with her fists. “Sir!” she called out hoping to get one of the guards to help her. This wasn’t how she envisioned the rest of her night. She was planning on going home, talking to her sister. Sleeping until noon. “Sir, I need help. Please. I can’t stay here! I haven’t done anything to deserve incarceration!”

Pulling up her silk ballgown to pee in front of this man…left nothing to the imagination. Doing so would mortify her to the tips of her toes. What the devil had she done to deserve this? Enraged the duchess…as well as the duke. They were all having laughs at her expense. They could have sent her home. Mila abandoned her. Ducked out before the constables arrived. Her friend would never have been arrested. While she removed her underclothing, she’d not let the rain dampen her gown. Mila’s nipples weren’t presented to everyone in the big, fancy ballroom under the expensive chandeliers. Mila’s father wasn’t a friend of the duke. How the devil did her stepfather know the Duke of Clarence?

To her surprise the door swung open. A large shadow flitted across the floor. A man’s throat was cleared before he spoke. “What do you want?” The burly guard who locked her up stood by the bars. Drank from a flask then stared at her hard. With a snarl, he spoke, “Don’t have time to converse with a criminal. Spit it out. What you’ve got in here is all you’re going to get until breakfast. Now, if you had a wee bit of coin, I might be more amenable. Money buys comfort.” His gaze fastened on her. Grinning, “I’d take a little taste of your sweet self in place of groats. Let me feel what you’re advertising so audaciously.”

She looked at the man, wondering how he came up with the word “audaciously.” Didn’t look the type to have a way with words. Saw his protruding belly. His jowls nearly touched his shoulders. His gray eyes were hot. Revulsion swamped her. Lexi shifted her feet as she fought her desperate need for privacy to relieve herself. She couldn’t pee in that pot. Couldn’t do it in front of that other man leering at her.

“Uh…” She swept her tongue across her parched lips. Faced the steel chamber pot that was ogling her then brought her gaze back to the man. Heat rushed to her face. “Uh…I need some privacy. Can’t…” Lexi didn’t know how to phrase her little problem which was growing more intense with each passing beat of her heart. If she didn’t get some relief soon, the liquid she was holding would run down her leg, soak her stockings and shoes.

“Privacy for what?” He was playing obtuse. He stroked his rag-tag beard while he seemed to mull over her request. “Got a few coins? Might be able to help you out of your little problem.”

The man must know exactly what she needed. She shifted feet again. “You know…” She looked to the bowl then back to him. “Please, is there somewhere else to go? I…” She stared at the other prisoner whose beefy hands were on the bars, his nose pressed through them as he grinned. “Can’t go here in front of this man. I can’t…he’s…he’s a man.”

“There’s nowhere else, ma’am. You’ve got to use the facilities everyone else does. Just ‘cause you come from the high falutin’ society that puts themselves above everyone else, doesn’t mean you get any privileges in this place of incarceration.”

“That’s a man!” She pointed her shaking finger at the prisoner smirking at her.

“You noticed,” the guard said with a hoot of laughter. “Doesn’t change anything. No privileges for the likes of you. Unless you got some way to pay me, go or don’t go in the bloody chamber pot like everyone else. Makes no difference to me.” With that said, he left, the door banging shut behind him.

Lexi wanted to cry. She kept the tears at bay, deciding if she turned her back on the man, he would see nothing. Mortified, she approached the chamber pot. With her back to the bars, she lifted her skirt. At this point she was pleased she had only the gown to keep out of the way. Was mortified with the noise as she peed into the steel bowl. He would be able to hear what she was doing.

“Whooeee…look at you. Gettin’ down just like the rest of us. Gonna see your lily-white butt. Would like to see the rest of you. Your pussy must be somethin’ special.”

Inwardly, she cringed. Closed her eyes as if doing so would help keep this man out of her thoughts. When she finished, Lexi shook out her skirts then told herself that wasn’t so bad. The man kept talking about how she could be his. He wanted to see a little pussy. Needed to take a bite of her bubbies.

Sucking her bottom lip into her mouth, what was a pussy? Her bubbies? Keeping her back to the lewd man, she sat on the cot set up for her. She’d never be able to sleep on that thing. Never. It must have vermin slithering around between the blanket and the bed.

By now her stepfather would know about her fate. She prayed he wouldn’t leave her here. Her mother wouldn’t allow it. When she was led from the duke’s home, she saw her stepfather’s carriage waiting for her. Saw the driver tip his hat in her direction. The gesture had to mean he would let her father know what happened in the duke’s ballroom along with where she was being taken. At least the part where she was taken away by the constables then shoved into a wagon. He wouldn’t learn why unless the duke sent a message to him.

Why would the duke do something like that? There were any number of acquaintances at the ball. Someone might tell Stuart what she did. It wasn’t as bad as some would say. All she tried to do was make a point to all the rakes in this part of the British Isles. She wanted all the men to realize she wasn’t available as a personal plaything. Not their toy for their entertainment. She was unique. Should be treated as an individual. Wanted them to think she broke it off with Seumas not the other way around. She needed to show them she was too good for all of them.

She was fed up with everything. Tired of the grind of one party after another. She needed a holiday from it all.

 

~ * ~

 

“Someone wants you out of here enough to pay a small fortune for your release. You cost a pretty penny. That duke who had you arrested isn’t going to be pleased to see you get out so soon. That’s why the price for your release was set so high.” The burly guard stood at the bars, keys dangling from his hands. “Don’t know why. What makes you so special you got money enough for bail? You could have bought a few favors while you were here. Could have had a little fun. Never poked a lady of your station before. Even though you were all dressed up…dressed up like a whore, I would have enjoyed a brief tussle on that cot of yours.”

“My stepfather…”

“Ah, too bad you’re getting out of here. I was just beginning to enjoy the show. I’m going to miss your sweet pussy, seeing the tips of your breasts all puckered up with anticipation,” the prisoner said with a hoot of laughter. “Your butt is soft and white. Would have enjoyed a feel or two, a squeeze here one there.” To the guard, “You could have put her in here with me. Would have made the time pass by faster.”

“Against the rules. If you had a groat to your name, I would have taken the money in exchange for a bit of fun time.”

Lexi shuddered. What she went through was bad enough. The guard might have done something like that. If he had, all hell would have broken loose over his head if her stepfather ever got wind of it. Stuart might be angry with her, but he would never allow anything the guard spoke about. If anything else happened to her, all hell would break loose.

“Who is here?”

“Some little lady. Says she’s your sister. Don’t look nothin’ like you. She might be lying. How’s a man to know the truth anymore? Follow me. No reason to dally here any longer. Your bail has been posted. You’re free to go.” He turned to the door, striding in front of her as she stumbled on a loose plank. She was so tired she couldn’t think straight. She needed her bed coupled with eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

“Anymore, how indeed. Did this guard ever hear the truth?” she muttered as she followed the guard into the main office of the prison. Stepping from the cold cell, heat blasted her on all sides. Her savior was bent over, signing a paper. Juliet was a sight for sore eyes. Since she first walked into the duke’s ballroom, this was the first moment she felt as if someone was on her side. Lexi waited for her sister to look up.

“Lexi!” Jules cried out as she rushed to her. Threw her arms around her. Moved back half an arm’s length to look her up then down. “Are you alright? No one hurt you. Did they?” she asked as an afterthought then centered her focus on the guard. “No one hurt her?” she asked the man at the desk. Again, Jule’s hands on her shoulders, she put distance between them to get a better look at her. Shaking her head as if she didn’t believe what she was seeing. “Good God, what did you do with your underwear? Did these people make you take them off? I can see…”

If she could have found a way to laugh at her sister’s question, she would have. How could she tell her sweet sister, she did it so she could prove to the world she didn’t care that Seumas broke it off with her. The mistake was blazingly apparent. “I’m fine. Just embarrassed. That’s all.” She didn’t think she would ever tell anyone about what transpired when she was behind bars. Lexi certainly wasn’t going to admit to Jules that she left her underwear in the cloakroom or that the duke’s son waylaid her then propositioned her. Liam was just like all the men she met so far. His thoughts were only for himself.

“Let’s get you out of here.” Jules looked at her then, her mouth gaping open again at the sight she presented. Jules was shaking her head, a perplexed look on her pretty face. Seemed she didn’t intend to let her appearance go. There was a wealth of disapproval in her tone. “What are you wearing? No, what aren’t you wearing? Is this why the duke sent you to jail? You didn’t. Did you? You didn’t show up at his ball uninvited wearing this gown with nothing underneath. Did you?”

At this point Lexi wished she could deny the question about her lack of clothing. Chose instead to change the subject. Tried for a minor smile. “How did you find out where I was? Didn’t expect father to discover my whereabouts until morning.” The driver of their coach was helping them inside. Her arms wrapped around her; Lexi was shivering.

“This is morning,” Jules said, her tone dry. “For some reason I couldn’t sleep. Was worried about you. Call it a sixth sense. Good thing that I was. Went to the kitchen with the intent of warming some milk so I could sleep. Overheard Father talking to someone. Never seen this man before. That’s when I heard you were being detained. Heard a few more scandalous rumors. Thought everything that was said about you was false. I was wrong.”

“That’s a nice way of saying I was handcuffed, tossed in the back of a prison wagon and literally thrown into a jail cell.” Lexi almost blurted that she had to use a chamber pot in front of a male prisoner to pee because she couldn’t wait for her rescue. The guard refused to give her privacy. She bit her tongue to keep from revealing that horrible piece of information. The less Jules knew about her incarceration the better.

Pulling out a blanket for her as the coach lurched forward, she gave her some enlightening information. “Father is roaring mad. Can’t say that I blame him,” Jules told her on a soft note. “I don’t know what he’s going to do. Believe this is…I don’t know. It’s not good. I’m afraid of what he might do. This isn’t going to be a lecture. Think he plans on sending you away.”

“Roaring mad? Send me away? Where?” Lexi parroted as she thought about Stuart’s anger. Their mother would step in to soothe the beast Stuart could become when things didn’t go his way. All would turn out fine. All she needed to do was ride out the storm. In a week no one would remember this incident. Another scandal would rise up to take its place. She just hoped the new outrage would not be about her.

When they entered the Marsh townhouse, the butler met them. His brows were drawn together. He shook his head when he saw her state of dishabille. Heat whipped through her. Jules paused at the door to the drawing room. Both her mother along with her father were in the room. Their mother was sitting, speaking with Stuart who looked far from the relaxed picture their mother made. If they didn’t force a conversation, she meant to avoid one. Lexi started up the steps, needing to rid herself of the horrific gown.

“Alexandra! Here! Now!” The bellow of rage sent panic, overriding her mortification.

She turned on the first step, stumbling then catching herself. Her hands clung to the banister. “Father? I’d like to change my clothes. I’m cold. Exhausted.”

“Get your little butt in this room! We’ve important matters to talk over.” This was not the way she hoped the morning would play out.

Exhausted from no sleep as well as in a pique, she spoke without thinking. “Can’t this wait until I get some sleep? I’m cold and tired. I’ve endured the most horrific as well as mortifying night of my life. All I want is to go to bed. Sleep for the next eight hours.” The moment she saw the flash of disbelief then the deep frown lines on Stuart’s face, Lexi understood she overstepped. There would be no reprieve for her. Should have caught the drift when he yelled out her entire name. He only did that when he’d lost his patience and his anger was the overriding force driving him.

“If you didn’t make yourself the talk of the town last night, I’d let you stay in bed all day. As it stands you have to do some major accounting of your actions. I want an in-depth explanation. You will not leave this room until I’m satisfied.”

Satisfied?

“Yes…” She decided meek might be the best way to proceed this morning. Putting one foot in front of the other, she followed Jules into the room where her father stood. “I can tell you a few things.”

“Sit down.” He nodded for the butler, Thomas, to pour the tea. A good dose of tea was something she would appreciate. Stuart always offered a drink or food as a diversion. “Explain yourself.”

She couldn’t. Not without revealing how hurt she’d felt when Seumas told her he didn’t wish to see her any longer. They were done. Poof! He was out of her life. She wasn’t good for anything. Wasn’t good enough for anyone, even a bounder like Seumas. Hadn’t she proved her lack of abilities when she failed to find a husband in two and a half seasons? No matter where she was, she always felt alone…unwanted. She didn’t fit…anywhere. Even in a room where she knew the people she felt alone…such as now.

“I don’t understand what you want me to say.” She lifted her shoulders, trying for indifference she knew couldn’t work. Not with her stepfather. “Imagine you’ve already learned all the pertinent facts of the evening. What more is there for me to tell you?”

“Not from your point of view. How you perceive the events is what I need to hear.” He stared at her nipples for a second before he looked away. Shook his head as if trying to figure out what to do. He turned to the butler who remained at the door until he would be dismissed. “Thomas, bring Alexandra something to cover herself with. I cannot speak to my stepdaughter with her looking this way.” Pinching the bridge of his nose he began to pace.

Stuart wouldn’t find her attire appropriate, of course not. Neither would anyone else. Neither did she. Lexi sipped the hot tea wishing she would fade into the woodwork. Wished she’d put some sugar and cream in the hot brew. A touch of lemon would be nice. She was beginning to feel faint. Fainting in front of Stuart would put more unwarranted ideas into his head. Didn’t dare move. As she sat now, when she scrunched over just right no one would see how the hard tips of her breasts stuck to the blue silk of her gown. Her mother’s frown of disapproval is what hurt her the most.

The minutes it took Thomas to arrive with one of her shawls were silent…tense seconds. Seemed an eternity for her to wait. She alternately listened to the tick of the clock sitting on the mantel of the fireplace then the steady strokes of her heart. At one point she counted the breaths she was taking…in then out. Again. Ten more times. Twenty more after that.

With the shawl covering her, the worst was yet to come. Stuart paced between her and her mother. Caroline left a few minutes after Thomas brought the shawl. When her mother returned, she carried a tray filled with scones and strawberry jam. Lexi stomach grumbled as she stared at the treats in front of her then flopped. She was afraid if she ate anything, the food wouldn’t stay where it was supposed to stay.

“Let’s get back to where we started,” Stuart said as he stepped forward. “Explain yourself. Tell me why.”

Lexi found herself shaking her head. Explanations were difficult to come by. To waste time, she covered a steaming scone with butter then the sweet confection. Bit then chewed. Swallowed. Dabbed her napkin on her mouth. Fought the rise of bile to the back of her throat until the sensation stopped burning. “You won’t appreciate anything I have to say. You might be better off if you didn’t know.”

“Probably not.” Stuart leaned against the mantel, one booted foot on the hearth with his arms crossed in front of him. He looked from Caroline to her as if that would give him the answers he sought. “Why would you…” He looked to her mother again as if she could enlighten him. She lifted her shoulders. “…why would you take off all your underwear then crash the duke’s party in a damp gown? Everyone knows what kind of females dampen their gown as well as rouge their nipples.”

Flinching, she didn’t know where to begin. Before she spoke, she managed a grimace. “I…I didn’t rouge my nipples…” Her appetite failing, she set the scone on the plate in front of her, her stomach doing a little flip then a nasty flop.

“I…” Stuart prompted. “So what? Everyone could see all you offered.”

“Anger…frustration… Needed to prove to someone I wasn’t useless. Prove I wasn’t…” She couldn’t tell her stepfather all the men who came to the house to court her wanted her to spread her legs for them. Saying those words would be too crass. Wouldn’t remind him he approved all her suitors. Believed they were fine, distinguished men. She didn’t understand why she wasn’t good enough for marriage. Her wild reactions to rejection seemed to escalate with each failed season as well as with each man who wanted only one thing from her.

“So,” Stuart straightened, his stiff shoulders. “So, you show yourself to the highest-ranking members of the ton wearing something that reveals all of you. That does not yell out useful. It cries out…”

“Whore?” Lexi finished for him. She’d been called the gamut: strumpet, whore, harlot and some names she’d never heard before. By the way he looked at her, she realized her faux pas. “I needed to show Seumas I didn’t care what he did or thought. Show him I didn’t need him. Let him see I could find another man.” Lexi fought the tears burning in her eyes. Battled the need to bury her face in her hands and sob out her broken heart. “I need to be accepted for more than a pretty piece. A light skirt who will give men whatever they wish.”

A shadow passed across Stuart’s face. His brows turned inward in concentration. “I believe by your actions you did the exact opposite. I cannot comprehend what you were thinking? With what you told me, nothing you did makes sense.” He waved a hand in the air. “Never mind. You’ve never been able to think quickly. You just act. After you act, the world always comes tumbling down around your feet. This needs to change. I do hope to see you happy. Your mother has a suggestion.”

She stiffened, realizing all Stuart told her was the truth.

He continued. “Well, I’m tired of picking up pieces when you’ve reached the bottom. Tired of seeing you in tears. I care too much about your well-being to allow this travesty to resume.” He coughed. “The duke wants to see you punished for your audacity.”

Tears streaking her hot cheeks, she tilted her chin, enraged by the wants of this man she didn’t know. “Wasn’t spending the night in a jail cell with a lecherous, leering prisoner across from me enough punishment? The guard wasn’t any better.”

“No, it wasn’t. Don’t believe you have learned anything. If I let this go, you will resume your life just as it has been. The duke is going to be a heavy investor in my next project. An undertaking that is very important to me. He intends to finance my new whiskey distillery. We are enlarging the original plant then building a new one. The amount of money to be made is enormous. I will increase my earnings tenfold. However, I do need an investor. Now, unless you pay some sort of retribution, he threatens to withdraw his groats.”

“Because I crashed his party?” she cried out, stunned by the revelation that her actions would affect Stuart in a negative capacity. Usually, she only hurt herself.

“You also rejected his son, Liam. I was told you were irritating. Completely negative to his friendship.”

“Friendship, hah! Do you know what that man, Liam, the duke’s son wanted?” Lexi didn’t wait for her stepfather to answer. She was breathing hard, enraged once more, “He asked me to go to his apartment with him. He…”

Before she could finish, “Dressed as you are I wouldn’t expect anything better from the poor man. Nevertheless, you rejected the confused boy. A man who is not accustomed to rejection.” He repeated, “You turned down the duke’s son. That isn’t something that is done. Though,” he paused, stroking his chin, “I’m glad you refused his proposal. Seems as if you could have figured out a way to appease Liam.”

“You would have preferred I spread my legs for him in the empty room where he brought me? That was my only other choice besides jail.” Once more her anger rose. Lexi couldn’t believe what she was hearing from her stepfather. Also, couldn’t believe what just spouted from her mouth.

Stuart coughed, putting his hand to his lips. His cheeks changing color with her remark. “No, I would have preferred you were not showing off your body to the crowd at the ball. Don’t want you giving yourself to anyone until you are wed. Hope that is still true.”

Frustrated. Angry. Confused. Once more she blurted, “What do you want from me? Are you going to withhold my allowance? Keep me in my bedroom until I do penance? You said I needed to be punished.”

“No, I’m going to…your mother and I have come to the conclusion…”

“Let me,” Caroline stood beside Stuart. He smiled at her then patted the hand she placed on his arm. “I might be able to clarify better than you. Right now, you’re all manly bluster.” She turned to Lexi, a soft smile on her lips. “This was not easy. Know that we both love you to distraction. We’ve allowed you too much freedom. Now it seems we are going to give you more. Your father and I have discussed this for a few hours now. I’m confident, given new opportunities you will discover your self-worth. In a new environment, you might thrive. At least that’s what we hope. Edinburgh has not been good to you.”

A wave of disillusionment, then fear, passed through her. If he gave over the power to her mother, Lexi realized she wasn’t going to like what came out of this. Usually, her mother was doing the soothing for all of them. This time everything was different.

“What is it?” she asked, caution riddling her words.

“You do recall the first part of your life?” Caroline asked as she let Stuart support her, his arm wrapped around her. “To me, your up bringing, your roots were more important than the life you are living now. They were founded in honesty coupled with hard work. As you are now, you have no understanding of hard work, even honesty.”

Lexi’s breath caught in the back of her throat. Where was all this going? They were miles away from that life. Sifting in a deep breath of air, she began. “We lived in Kirkwall on Orkney Island. Father was a fisherman. Lost at sea, he died when I was seven. You were…I was too young to understand. You moved here, to Edinburgh. Met Stuart. Believe you are happy.” Lexi shook her head. Why was her mother reminding her of a time long ago that had nothing to do with her life now?

“Good, your grandmother lives there still. Your father’s mother. If you wish to reconnect, she will enjoy seeing you.”

Her mother’s words hung in the air for a few seconds as she tried to make sense of what was said. Then…

The last sentence hit her like a lead weight. “My grandmother will enjoy seeing me?” Lexi parroted, confused with the notion.

“Yes, you are leaving in one week for Kirkwall. The week will give you time to say your goodbyes to your friends as well as get your things in order.”

More silence filled the room. Her tea cup hit the floor, tea sloshing everywhere. As the world spun then turned gray, her world went black.

The smelling salts under her nose brought her back to reality with a resounding crash. She didn’t want to return to reality. Her nerves snapped. She opened her eyes to see her mother along with Jules huddled over her. Stuart stood behind them, his hands behind his back with a stoic expression plastered on his face.

“What happened?” Lexi had a pretty good idea. “I fainted?” She tried to sit up. Stuart moved her mother and Jules aside before he lifted her in his arms. Strong arms. She recalled loving the feel of his arms around her. Tenderly, he set her on the big chair facing the fireplace.

“Yes, you fainted,” Stuart told her. “Doesn’t change anything. Caroline and I have debated this for well on most of the night. I don’t see any other way to go about soothing the duke’s temper. There is nothing you can say or do that will change our decision. I do believe this course will make you value yourself more, make you stronger.”

“A difference of scenery will be good for you,” her mother pointed out. “Sea air, the smell of fish, along with strong men, will give you a new outlook on life. Be careful of the men. The ones who live in the islands are not the dandies you are used to. They will not be pushed around. Cannot be manipulated. Their values are grounded in hard work.”

I wanted a holiday. Not one that sends me into uncharted territory. There is that word again…work.

“You are talking about men as if you expect me to fall in love?” She was incredulous.

“No, giving you a warning you should never overlook. These men are unique. Not what you are used to encountering. That’s all. None will allow you to push them around or flirt as if there is no tomorrow. They expect honesty in their dealings.”

“Where will I stay? Doubt if there is anywhere…you want me to stay with Grandmother?” She hadn’t seen the woman since she was seven. Twelve years had passed since she’d been in Kirkwall. Never thought she would return.

“No, she would spoil you. Give you whatever you asked for. More spoiling that won’t teach you anything about yourself,” Stuart stepped into the conversation.

“Then…?”

“Fisherman’s Cavern.” Her mother plumped up her skirts then looked away as if she didn’t wish to finish.

Stuart took over, “Fisherman’s Cavern is a pub in the town. Your father owned the place. The tavern was a backup for bad years. Times when he didn’t earn a decent living fishing. He always had a second business to fall back on.”

“That didn’t happen very often,” Caroline put in, sounding a tad defensive.

Lexi didn’t have a word to say. She imagined eventually the two would get around to telling her what she was supposed to do in Kirkwall. Watch the ships come in? The waves lap on the pier? The seagulls drop poop on the ground? “How long?” They couldn’t be intending to send her there for the rest of her life. They wouldn’t. Her mother didn’t want to be rid of her that much?

“Suppose you would like a few details,” Caroline began.

“Let me finish,” Stuart stepped forward. Put his hands behind his back again as he rocked on his heels. “Three months. It’s the first of September. You will be home for Christmas…before Christmas.”

“Three months?” she parroted again, her mouth gaping open with astonishment, feeling as if she’d just been given a death sentence. “Where am I going to live? What am I supposed to do? I don’t knit…” She felt weak with fear. She didn’t do much of anything useful. Since she wasn’t living with her grandmother, was she supposed to take up residence in the bar?

Didn’t seem her mother could look at her. “You will run the bar. Live in the upstairs room. While the space is not what you are used to, it’s adequate. What money you make from the bar, is yours.”

Adequate?

Did her mother have any idea about adequate? She was supposed to run the place? A bar? What did she know about running a bar? Nothing. For that matter, what did she know about anything? Nothing.

“I don’t know how…” True, she didn’t know how to do a damn thing useful. Big surprise.

“You will learn. You are an intelligent young lady. You are worth far more than what you’ve been doing, flaunting yourself. I understand, you haven’t found a young man. Neither has your sister. That’s not why we are sending you to Kirkwall.”

“I’m going with her,” Jules spoke up from her perch near the fire. Until now she’d said nothing. “I need to go too. I want to be with Lexi. We’re a pair, bookends. Different but alike. We rely on each other.”

“That won’t be necessary,” their mother said. “Lexi can take care of herself.”

“She hasn’t been doing such a remarkable job up until now,” Stuart said with a bland tone.

“I can’t let her do this on her own,” Jules protested.

Someone cared for her. A warm feeling flushed through her, the first since the terrible night began. She and Jules had always been close. Shared most everything.

“What will Harry do without you? You have helped him sell his paintings all over London,” Stuart asked as he watched them. “He seems to need you at all hours to do inventory, this job then another one after that.”

“You shouldn’t sacrifice your relationship for me,” Lexi told her sister. “Stuart is right. It’s about time I learned how to do something…useful. What I will learn there is beyond me. Nonetheless…” Lexi lifted her shoulders in a sign of surrender.

“You are very good at fashion. You—” Jules began until Lexi interrupted.

“What good is that?” Lexi asked, trying not to feel down on herself any more than necessary. “I know how to pick out a dress along with the perfect accessories. Don’t know the first thing about sewing a straight stitch.”

“You are always in style,” Jules persisted as if her abilities were something to be touted.

“Except when I’m not,” Lexi said, while she was thinking about her appearance that night. Heat brimmed to her face.

“I’ve hired a man over the years to take care of the bar. The place should be welcoming. Clean. You won’t need to do much work to make it operational. Of course, it might be a functioning bar as it is,” Stuart said with a slight lift to his shoulders. “There might not be much to do.”

“If it’s not?”

“If not, you will do whatever is necessary to earn enough money to put food on your table. I’m giving you a small stipend. Not much more. Doubt if there is a modiste in Kirkwall that will be making you new gowns. Take all you need with you.”

In her head she went over the list of gowns she would want to bring. Doubted if a ball gown was in her future. She would…need to do without the jewels she owned. Going without is not something she was used to doing in her twenty years. Whatever she wished to have, she asked for or she purchased.

“You have one week to ready yourself. I would suggest you pack with care. If you forget something necessary…”

“I will need to do without,” Lexi added to her father’s warning. “How am I going to eat? I don’t know how to cook.”

“I suggest you learn. You won’t have enough money to eat out every day.”

“Wouldn’t this bar have a cook…a chef?”

“Might… there are no guarantees.”

 

~ * ~

 

“How do you think that went?” Caroline was lying in Stuart’s arms in their big bed. She snuggled her nose against the hollow of his shoulder, enjoying the peaceful moment along with the perfect scent of her man. “I didn’t like doing that to Lexi. Sending her away. She’s my baby. I love her with no strings attached.”

“Neither did I. You saw what Alexandra was wearing. Can you imagine what people are saying about her? Thinking? No wonder the duke’s son thought she was a beautiful tart. A woman he could take home to his bed. She appeared in their ballroom as delectable mistress material. If she wasn’t my step-daughter, I would never have been able to take my eyes off her. For the last year, I’ve been trying to ignore all the gossip about Alexandria.”

With those words Caroline sucked in air. “My daughter… I’ve felt the same. She doesn’t know how beautiful she is. She doesn’t understand her worth. Hard work be damned. I pray she learns how beautiful she is inside and out.”

“She won’t be anyone’s mistress. From what I’ve heard at the clubs, she’s declined several offers then retaliated. Lexi’s got a temper as well as a sense of justice. What she did tonight,” Stuart said as he ran his knuckles along Caroline’s’ cheek, “was all wrong. Sometimes she is misguided. That’s all. She has a good heart. Would make any man a wonderful wife.”

“Lexi is beautiful. Her encounters with the male species these last two seasons have not been good. I don’t understand what or why this has played out the way it has. Jules too. While she has found Harry, that man doesn’t care at all about her. All he thinks about is his paintings. Jules follows him around as if she was his faithful pet with her tongue hanging out while he ignores her until he wants something.”

“From what I’ve heard, Lexi spurns the men who have come to call on her. Calls them dandies, flirts outrageously then says no to them. Most of her suitors have lied about what she has given them. I’m certain of that fact,” Stuart said. “Our girl has not slept with any man. She is still chaste. Why, in conversation, she blushes at the slightest innuendos. She is still innocent of a man’s touch.”

“Our girl does know how to entice a man until he has cobwebs for brains,” Caroline said with a gentle smirk. “Do you think she will survive Kirkwall? It’s a rough fisherman’s town.”

“You survived,” Stuart pointed out.

“Yes, all true. I grew up in the town. Mother too. Lexi has told me…” Caroline paused for air. “She’s told me she hasn’t tossed aside her virtue. I pray that is true. If it isn’t, I won’t love her any less.”

“Neither will I.”

“I’m going to miss her and Jules.”

“As will I.”