Chapter One

Glasgow 1832

Rain pelted the windows. Eerie wind howled around the eaves of the two-story home while lightening slashed in blue-white streaks electrifying the night air. Thunder pounded, jarring the stillness. Rain fell from the sky in torrents. The horrific weather fit his turbulent mood, the conflicting emotions raging within his brain soured his gut. This was not where he should be. He couldn’t find a way to tell this beautiful woman he wouldn’t see her any longer. He needed to fix all that had gone wrong with his life. The woman he loved for a year now must be the focus of all his attentions.

Jason Kenworthy watched the lady’s slight form in the bed he shared at their convenience. He’d been with her the last four years, ever since her husband passed. The woman lying naked in the bed gave him pleasure. She was sweet. Sincere. Loyal. Sarah was always ready to take him into his arms when he came around to see her. Jason understood he used her to assuage his sexual needs. She never complained. He took unholy advantage of her giving nature. Depended on her to right his sinking ship this last year. He found he was drowning in the depth of misery. The melancholy was of his own making. Problem was, he didn’t know how to go about changing his situation. Sarah told him he needed to take the bull by the horns. His huff of air told him he didn’t ken how to do that. Sarah suggested to him to make it clear how he felt toward the love of his life who danced around him, leading him on by the nose. He needed to make his feelings as well as his intentions obvious to the lady of his dreams.

Jason reached over to brush a slow caress on Sarah’s arm. She shivered as if she was responding to his touch. Toward Sarah there existed a deep tenderness in his heart. His Sarah, was a woman he would always care about. If she ever needed him, rain or shine, he would be there for her.

He stepped back. Sarah was beautiful. Her dark brown hair glistened in the candlelight bathing her form, highlighting golden strands that had been bleached by the sun. She defied custom, seldom donning a hat to shade her features while she tended to her flower beds. Gardening was her one true joy. Her blue eyes were banded around the outside with silver. Her bottom lip a bit too full to be considered fashionable. She possessed a stubborn streak that got her into trouble from time to time.

Earlier this evening she told him he was no longer welcome to see her in the evenings or to entertain her in this big bed. Tonight was the last night they would share together. The lovemaking was bittersweet. In this, they were of a like mind. He was ready to cut the entanglement between them. Before he visited Sarah this evening, he knew he was leaving her. This dalliance with her was their last one together.

She told him he sulked. Well, he did. After spending his days at his home, he needed a bright spot in the evenings. Sarah proved to be that tiny bit of light that brought him out of the depression his life had become. Jason understood he couldn’t hide behind Sarah’s skirts any longer. He needed to face his future. Tessa MacRae was that future. He just didn’t know how to go about convincing Tessa it was time for her to make a decision concerning their lives together. What he saw in Sarah’s eyes, told him he might well be in for a lecture on his behavior. He didn’t need anyone to expound on his misconduct.

Sarah pushed hair behind her ears while she brought in a deep breath of air. “It’s been more than a year, Jason. You’ve done nothing to right the matter that has you befuddled. Are you going to allow another year to pass you by before you do something about the wee tendre you have for the lass? You cannot continue in this vein. I will no longer support what you are doing to yourself. You’ve become less of a person…less of a man. You do not belong in my bed when your heart is elsewhere.”

“…and…” Jason pulled on his boots while he debated with himself over the necessity to tell her the truth. “What am I doing to myself?” The tendre he felt for Tessa was far from little. He was head-over-heels smitten with Tessa MacRae. Sometime in the last year, the little flirt withdrew into herself. She changed right in front of his nose. He didn’t know how to reach her. After the first few weeks with her here in Glasgow, he thought he would be wed to her by the year’s end.

“Sulking,” she replied so quick the word stole his breath. She reached for a full glass of wine sitting on her nightstand. Before they made love, she’d not tasted the drink, seeming to understand this time would be the last one for them. She sipped now, closed her eyes as she let the red burgundy slide down her throat, savoring the slow glide. “You have been brooding for the last year. Take the pretty lass by the hand then explain your feelings. Lay down the law. She might well be thankful. Perhaps she is in as much a quandary as you. Might not understand how to turn around something that has gone so wrong.”

Unable to help himself, he snorted his aversion. Sulking? No matter his thoughts to the contrary, what she said was true. He would have called his mood brooding. Sulking sounded like a description for a little boy. Brooding was more manly. No matter, the words presented the right picture as to his frame of mind. “If you must know, I asked Tessa to marry me.” He found himself hoping for sympathy or empathy at the least. From Sarah, he wasn’t likely to get any type of emotion. She always called the situation as she saw it.

As she smiled, the small dimple on the left side of her mouth deepened. While she tapped the crystal with the tip of her nail, she seemed to be thinking. Before Sarah spoke, she set her head to a slight angle, pursed her lips while she appeared to deliberate the right words, “Let me get this right. Tessa said no to your proposal. Was it romantic? I daresay, knowing you the request was anything but amorous. Blurted the words out, did you? Ah, I see by the glint in your eyes that’s what happened. You gave up with one try. Correct me if I’m wrong. Over a year ago she fancied herself in love with you. How long ago was the question popped?”

Sarah sat up, pulling the sheet around her, tucking the fabric beneath her arms to cover her substantial breasts. He’d miss burying his face in her generous bosom. Over the years, he’d come to adore her breasts almost as much as he loved her agile mind. Ah, but there was always Tessa’s mind if he could change her way of thinking.

For a tick of the clock on the mantle, Jason was surprised by Sarah’s actions. In his presence, she never covered herself. He supposed that was another sign this relationship had seen its last days. “Six months give or take a week or two.” He didn’t understand why he told her. Four years of sharing confidences was most likely the reason behind his confession.

“That long? You are resigned to remaining a bachelor. Hmm… I would not have expected that after you returned from Ireland. Why haven’t you asked her again? Seems that half a year ago, she was in the midst of her season. Of course she wouldn’t agree. The poor girl needed new experiences. Wanted to feel alive as well as learn that other men might find her attractive.” The rest of her wine disappeared down her throat. She set the glass on the table. Touched a small drop that was heading down the glass. Brought that bit of wine to her mouth.

“Suppose I am, at least for the time being. Tessa spends her free time alone. If I seek her out to talk with her, she tells me she’s busy. I need to find some means to coax the Tessa that I know from her hidey-hole. She’s pouting about something. God knows what it is. I don’t. I’m just a man infatuated with the love of my life.” He tied his cravat then tucked his shirt into his britches. “Tessa is so quiet. Reserved. Never fails to surprise me when she asserts herself. I’m of the opinion, all she wishes to do is curl up by the fire with a good book. From earlier experiences with her, I know she is vibrant. Alive with curiosity. I don’t understand where that woman has disappeared to.”

“Are you giving up on Tessa? Is the young lady not worth a bit more effort? As you just said, coax her from her hiding place. Find out the truth. Tell her how you feel. If you don’t, I’ve a mind to pay her a visit. Someone or something needs to shake the two of you out of the deep pit that’s been dug. I’m certain the girl loves you as much as you love her. Have you mentioned that tiny fact?” Sarah smoothed the big quilt that was covering her with her hands. Her nails were well-manicured. Buffed to shine. Without closing his eyes, he knew in detail what Sarah now hid from his view. The thought of her naked beneath the covering did nothing to arouse. With this new discovery, he turned a major hurdle in his life. Thinking of Tessa set him on fire. Scorched him. His body leapt to life.

While he looked for his frock coat, he turned to Sarah. He felt the need to defend himself. He waved his hand through the air, unable to understand the direction of his anger, “You don’t understand anything.”

Her hefty laugh caught him off guard. To Jason there was nothing humorous about his relationship with the disagreeing woman who bedeviled his life. Sarah’s brows drew together as she spoke, all humor cast aside. She cleared her throat before continuing with her lecture, “On the contrary, I understand all you’ve told me. It’s what you don’t say that I can’t comprehend. There is much you are keeping to yourself. Which is your right.” She lowered her lashes before opening them. “You should…”

Sarah was going to tell him to leave. The discussion would go nowhere. “Yes…well…” He thought of the way he saw Tessa the other night. Past midnight she showed up in the library wearing her night clothing. He’d wanted to pull her into his arms. Kiss her until she moaned with feminine pleasure. Fighting for control at the time, he did nothing. “Some thoughts are private. Restricted to the two participants involved. You know more than you should.”

“Have you kissed the wee lass?”

Jason choked on her question. Over the year, he’d thought of little else. A purpose, Sarah pushed his patience. “You are prying, madam. I would never kiss and tell.” He’d kissed her, yes. Not enough times to suit him. It wasn’t that she shied away. The reason was…hell if he kissed her again, he might not stop with a brush of the lips or even a deep taste of her. When he saw her, he ached for what he couldn’t have until they wed. She refused him. When she was near, he felt the need to test the curve of her hip. Wished to hold her breasts in his hands. Feel the humid softness between her legs.

Sarah lifted her shoulders in a feminine gesture that used to make him hard. “Make love to her. Get her with child. That would set events in motion that could never be stopped.” Sarah sent him a sly smile. “You are a nice man. You deserve some measure of happiness. For some unbeknownst reason, she is playing you for a fool. Find out what keeps her from committing. In that way, you’ll be able to fight. Until you know the truth about what holds her back, you are at a disadvantage.”

“I’ve considered your proposal. Getting her with child… Considering then doing are far different scenarios. Good God, she is living beneath my roof. Doing so would ruin her reputation even more.” Jason rubbed his hand on his chin, thinking. He could never impregnate the lass in order to get her to the alter. To force her was repulsive. He did want her in his bed. Damn tired of waiting for her to grow up. Now that she seemed to reach that state, she didn’t want anything to do with him.

“You won’t act on it though. Too much the gentleman. You should forget that fact about your nature. Your twin did…forget. Seems the bedding came before the wedding. They are in love. Aren’t they?”

He sat to put his boots on. Yes, Maggie and Jasper were in love. The baby, conceived from their stay in Ireland. For Maggie, learning to sit on a chair then stand was comical. He was more determined to do right by Tessa. “I won’t compromise Tessa for my own ends. Can’t do that to her. Don’t wish to force her hand. If she walks down the aisle to me, she must be willing.”

Jason bent over to brush a gentle kiss across her lips. “Goodbye, Sarah. I’d send you a parting gift if you wouldn’t yell at me.” Jason found himself grinning at her. He understood how she’d reply to his outrageous suggestion. Over the four years he’d been seeing her, she’d accepted gifts only on her birthday along with Christmas.

Her stiffening shoulders coupled with the tightening of her brows told him she was not agreeable to a goodbye present. “I’m not under your protection. Not your mistress. Never have been. I make my own way. You ken that.”

The long whisper of air that leapt from his lungs didn’t make him feel any better. Her scowl left him winded then wishing for something that could never be. Perhaps he would send her something anyway. A gift might put a smile on her face. If nothing else, the small present could serve to remind her of him. Jason settled on that idea as being perfect. Tomorrow afternoon, he would search for the perfect gift. She didn’t need jewelry. Something to remember him by. Something she couldn’t send back to him. He would figure it out. She mentioned several times how much she loved animals, dogs to be exact. He could buy her a puppy. She would never send a puppy back to him.

“Will you be at the Laughton’s ball?” He needed a change of subject after speaking of presents. Though he wasn’t looking to a future with Sarah, he would miss her company. A dance might ease his mind. If he saw her with another man, he might not feel such a cad for his desertion from her bed.

“Of course, I would not miss the event. That ball was a favorite of my late husband. Lady Laughton is a dear friend of mine.” This time she sounded indignant. Sarah was drawing into herself as they finished the conversation. The time had come for him to let himself out the door.

“I’ll find the door for myself. No need to get up,” Jason told her as he bowed in the open doorway before leaving the room. “Take care of yourself, Sarah. If you ever need anything… Well, you realize, I will never stop caring for you.”

A few seconds later, Jason stepped into the cold night air. The weather was not so cold, just stormy. The rain that pelted the windows earlier died to a thin mist. The storm appeared to have moved on to different territory. During his conversation with Sarah, a weight seemed to be lifted off his shoulders. He felt lighter. Figuring out Tessa’s change of heart would be his sole purpose until the knowledge came to him. Maybe he should kidnap her. Take her to Ireland. The cottage was still there. The ploy worked for his brother.

Jason motioned for his driver to follow him. He needed to walk for a time while he cleared his thoughts. Wasn’t about to walk the miles to his home. He had to think about Tessa. A plan of action might be nice. Jasper, his twin, talked about moving to the country for the summer months. A respite in the clear air away from the city would be welcome. A change of scenery might distance Tessa from whatever was troubling her. The travel would take the girls away from their summer entertainments, the soirees they disliked. None of the girls enjoyed the crush of the season. During the summer months the number of entertainments diminished. Jason didn’t think any of them would be devastated by that. Though they did have their friends they enjoyed doing things with.

If Jasper moved, Maggie and the baby would follow. Since Maggie’s sisters were under the guardianship of Jasper, they would have no choice but to tag behind. Though Nellie along with Fannie were old enough to not need a guardian, the protection was the necessary catalyst that would force their hand. Even in the country, there would be activities to contend with. The nice thing was that most of the actions would be during the early morning hours when the weather was not too hot. They could visit with the Murrays. Play some lawn tennis. He wondered if any of the girls ever played before. He enjoyed the game. The Murray men took the game to a different level.

Tessa would come along. Yes, a move to the country would be nice, very nice indeed. He would find the time to get to know her better. Jason felt less out of sorts now that he plotted a course of action. There would be extra moments where he could walk with Tessa. If she enjoyed riding, there were numerous trails to explore. Perhaps steal a kiss or two away from the curious eyes of her sisters.

During their strolls, she would open up to him about whatever it was that was troubling her. Something was bothering her. He had no doubts about that. Getting to the bottom of her difficulties would be his mission this summer. He didn’t appreciate feeling as if he was on tenterhooks. While he wasn’t the serious twin by far, he did possess a smidgeon of that singular attribute that seemed to run in the family. Knowing why Tessa was acting the way she was, took up a major portion of his thoughts during the day as well as the nights. An end to this scenario was a necessity. He was ready for a wife. He wished for Tessa to assume that role. He waited with as much patience as he could derive.

Knowing he needed to get home, he signaled for his driver to stop so he could climb into the carriage. He did so just as the wind changed and a gust of rain showered down on them. Perfect timing if he did say so himself. For the rest of the journey home, Jason set his head on the back of the seat then closed his eyes. He meant to relax. The hour was not too late. He could settle in the library with a snifter of brandy. If he got lucky, Tessa might join him. The plan could begin tonight. He gave a silent thanks to Sarah for setting him on the right path.

During the next ten minutes, Jason listened to the sounds surrounding him. Heard the steady beat of the rain on the roof. The clip clop of the horses’ hooves on the cobblestone street. Waited for the carriage to turn into the drive leading to the townhouse.

After he entered the house, he made his way to the library, half hoping Tessa would be curled up on the big, overstuffed chair she favored. Half hoping she would be sound asleep in her bed so he could wait for the inevitable encounter. Safe inside her room she wouldn’t serve as a temptation for his lust. If he didn’t see her, he wouldn’t want her in the most elemental ways.

That was part and parcel of the problem. Jason needed to know if what he felt for Tessa went deeper than lust. Had to know if Tess had a tendre for him. A year ago, he thought she did. She’d been curious about kissing. About him. Believed by the end of the year they would be engaged. A wedding would be planned. In the present, he was farther away from her in spirit than he’d been on their first meeting.

In the library, he splashed two fingers of brandy into a snifter. Sipped. Swallowed. Felt the heat of the drink rush down his throat. Sipped again before walking to Tessa’s favorite chair. She was not sitting in it, waiting for him. Looking up toward her room, he thought perhaps she’d retired for the night. Didn’t know if that should please or upset him.

Just as well. It would never do for the two of them to be together, alone at this time of night. He still needed to figure out his plans. Stay in the city or go to the country? What a conundrum? Going to the country seemed to be his preference. What if she refused? He couldn’t leave her here to fend for herself. She still needed protection from Lord Nelson Abernathy as well as her mother.

He heard the rustle of footsteps outside the door. Reached for the knife he kept tucked into his boot. With silent footsteps he made his way to the door. Whoever was out there was not wasting time on trying to hide the fact they were intruding. The door creaked open. When he recognized the wealth of light blond hair, he sucked in his air. Tessa.

“What are you doing?” Under the circumstance, his voice sounded harsher than he wished. With as much aplomb as possible he placed the knife back into his boot. He didn’t want to see fear in her eyes.

When she looked up at him her blue eyes were clouded over. He saw no sparkle in the depth. Hadn’t seen that sly semi-mischievous look that Tessa used to toss his way for a very long time. Who stole her vivacity? These last month’s, Tessa became a shadow of herself. Did he do this to her?

“I could ask you the same. It’s late.” Tessa took the crystal glass from him then drank. She closed her eyes as the liquid slid down her throat. When she opened them again, he was certain she wished to tell him something of importance. Instead, she turned away shuttering her expression, hiding from him.

“You went out without a chaperone?” The accusation was there. His gut clenched at his question at the realization she was alone. Abernathy was still a threat. She needed to take care every time she ventured from her home. Tessa was not a prisoner. She could still come and go as she pleased. Both he and his twin warned her of the dangers awaiting her with one slip up, one poorly made decision.

She seemed to take umbrage with his question. Sent him a fierce little scowl, her brows tight together. Tessa would do the same with his thoughts if he spoke them. “I used your driver. I was safe. Mother sent me a message. I needed to know what she wanted.” She unfastened her cloak then shook it out sending a pattern of tiny raindrops on the floor. After that she walked to the sideboard, filled his glass then poured one for herself. Turning, she leaned against the wood, watching him. Seeming to wait for more words to sputter from his lips. That wasn’t going to happen. She had every right to her opinion, even though he understood it to be wrong.

Strands of Tessa’s thick blond hair loosened from the chignon and tumbled down her back to reach her waist. She was slim, not coltish as she was a year ago. Her body filled out over the past months. Curved in all the right places for a man’s hands to enjoy. What Jason liked best about her was the vibrancy in her eyes. Now, when he looked at her, hunted for what he’d come to admire, the vitality of life was gone. Vanished. He needed to discover the reason. Needed to know how the spark was stolen.

Several questions about her whereabouts this evening rambled through his head. The first one being why did she venture out in this storm to see a woman she disliked? None of the girls held good feelings for their mother. The second being, why the devil did she believe herself to be safe with her mother? That was the farthest notion from the truth he could think of. Lord Abernathy made it clear he was no longer interested in any of the MacRae girls as a wife. That didn’t mean he lost interest in them as a conquest.

Not about to argue with her this evening or any other one, “If you say.” Jason wasn’t agreeing with her. He was giving her the right to a different opinion than his own. “However, next time, I would suggest you tell either Jasper or myself when you intend to leave as well as your destination. Even if it’s seeing your mother. Don’t believe for one heartbeat you are safe with your mother.” He paused as he watched the change of expressions across her face. “Especially if it’s to see Anice. We both understand the woman cannot be trusted.” His gut clenched at the thought of Tessa falling victim to the woman.

“You don’t trust my mother.” Her small voice held an accusing edge to the tone. She rubbed the back of her neck as if tension knots settled there.

If he could, he’d ease those muscles. Jason felt side-swiped by her statement. After all that had gone on over the last year, Tessa should never put her faith in that woman. Tessa should realize that without being reminded how dangerous Anice was to her. Again, no reason to raise his voice or put forth his sentiments on the ghastly topic. Confronting her with her feelings for the woman seemed important.

“Do you? You know as well as I that she is a pariah.” Anice was a man eater. At one time, did seem to hold a tender spot in her heart for her daughters. A very tiny tender spot. Now the lady was willing to hand them over to any man for her personal gain. That fact was repellent. A great distance from what could be termed motherly love. Anice had no redeeming qualities as far as he was concerned.

A small breathy sigh waffled from Tessa’s lips. Her shoulders slumped as if in defeat. “I don’t either. Trust her.” Tessa took a moment to drink more of the brandy she poured. “She is my mother. If she asks to see me, I can’t refuse. There are times I miss her. She can be nice. Last year, Christmas morning, after she figured out none of us knew where Maggie ran off to, she relented. She let us eat more than bread and water. We opened the presents under the tree.”

At that never previously divulged bit of information the air he sucked into his lungs served to choke him. Anice punished the girls by not allowing them food, a basic need. “If she is getting what she wants…” Jason sat down again. Studied the woman who bedeviled him for more than a year now. “Let me get this straight, just to clarify. If Anice is getting what she wants, then the woman is nice.”

“Mother almost always gets what she wants. That doesn’t ever make her nice. Makes her arrogant. Mean. Malicious. What are you doing here?” Tessa looked on her hands resting in her lap then through the flutter of her lashes peered his way. “Thought you would be with your friend, Sarah. Did something happen?”

Little minx, she was flirting with him. Even heard what might be a smidgeon of jealousy in her tone. For the beat of his racing heart, he was taken aback by her question. She shouldn’t know anything about his lady friend or her name. Jasper never would have mentioned Sarah. He sure as hell didn’t. “What do you know about my…friend?” The fact Tessa asked questions about Sarah terrified him. He never mentioned her. What she was doing was plying him for more information.

Tessa lifted her lily-white shoulders in an indifferent gesture. With quiet confidence, she sipped her brandy. “Nothing much. Is she pretty? Nice? Can she talk to you? You know?” The questions were stated once more beneath the flutter of her dark lashes.

Jason wasn’t certain if he was about to dig his grave where Tessa’s feelings for him were concerned. Treading with light footsteps would be his best advice to himself. He wasn’t about to lie to her. Neither was he going to tell her anything she didn’t ask. He supposed she did deserve answers. If she agreed to marriage, he wouldn’t hold anything back. Now, his relationship with her was tentative at best. Nonexistent at its worst. At times they spoke of feelings. In the present, that was all there was between them. To get to the depth of his relationship with Sarah, she would need to ask him things she would not feel comfortable asking. He hoped she would confide in him also.

“Very lovely.”

Her lashes jerked up, telling him his answer surprised her. She must have expected a different response. The widening of her eyes confirmed his conjecture. On the way to her mouth to sip a portion of her drink, her hand trembled. Beneath those fluttering lashes there were more questions.

“You are seeing a woman?” With her hands, she pressed the fabric of her gown tight across her bosom. “Never mind, I don’t…”

True, she might not want to know the answer. In this case, she might. If she cared anything for him, she would appreciate what he was about to say. “No.” He wouldn’t offer her the information that this was the last night he intended to visit Sarah. She would have to be more explicit in her questions.

She appeared stunned by his answer. “Do you lie?” The crease lines in the middle of her forehead deepened.

Jason thought it would be nice to pass his finger along them, soften them until she had no more concerns. “No.” He found himself shaking his head at the statement a small smile forming. “No, Tessa, I do not lie.”

“You were seeing a woman. A lovely woman.” Her voice was a whisper thin exhale of air quivering on the last words.

For a blink his heart stopped. This was a question he didn’t wish to answer. He could ignore. Discounting would be too close to a lie to suit. “Yes.”

Tessa face turned ashen. Her eyes narrowed. She sent her tongue across her lips, moistening them before she sipped more of the potent brandy. The pause was long, tiresome. “Like…like that…way?”

Jason kept the amused chuckle stuck in his throat. Tessa wanted to know if they had sex. Didn’t quite know how to ask the imposing question. She probably wanted to know more. She was innocent. He wasn’t going to change that fact this evening. He fiddled with his glass, rolled the crystal between his hands while he watched the amber liquid play with the light from the fire. When he felt in control of his emotions as well as his thoughts, he spoke his heart. “Ask me what you wish to know. Be specific. Don’t hedge when you have the words. Cannot guarantee you’ll appreciate the answer. While we are discussing my past, don’t forget I asked you to marry me. If you had agreed all would be different now. I’ll be honest with you. Promise.” His voice was gruffer than he wished. She was delving into his personal life. One that just this evening he put an end to. Sarah was a fond memory. Nothing more. Tessa was his future if she would allow that to happen.

One more time she whetted her mouth while she tried to drum up courage, lips glistening with the moisture her tongue left behind. Her eyes wide, “Did you fornicate with her?” Tessa did blurt the words that shocked him to the tips of his toes.

Brandy flew from his mouth. Drops splattered on his white silk shirt. He tried to wipe them away with the palms of his hands. Had never expected such a question. To his surprise Tessa stood behind him, pounding him on the back with her tiny hands. She thumped him a couple of times before he stopped wheezing. Jason grabbed her hand. She was stronger than expected. Her little fist packed a wallop. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Trust me. I’m just dandy.” Did he fornicate with Sarah? Well, that was one way to put what they did. The words seemed crude. What they did together never reached the level of fornication. Between them there was tenderness along with caring. He cared for Sarah. Would never hurt her even though he did admit he took advantage of her. They both had physical needs. Maybe she also took advantage of him.

Tessa seemed to be over her concern for his wellbeing. She faced him, her chin tilted upward while she demanded the answer. “Well? Did you?” She persisted with this line of questioning. “Fornicate?”

“Can you not come up with a different way of putting the act of making love? I would not wish to put what two people who care for each other do together in that obscene vein.” Sexual games were many and varied. Sarah was a sensual passionate woman. There intimate relationship shouldn’t be brought down to that level.

“Well?” Tessa persisted, her voice taking on an edge he didn’t recognize. She continued to stare at him waiting for an answer. “Did you?”

If he didn’t misunderstand the emotion, Tessa was angry. He cleared his throat more than one time before he could speak. “We were intimate, yes.” Jason held up his hands either in surrender or in hopes she wouldn’t ask for details. Good God, the word she used for something very special was leud. Who gave her that word? The only person who came to mind was her mother, Anice. It would be just like Anice to call the intimate act of making love fornicating. Was that the reason Anice summoned Tessa this evening? To put vile thoughts into her head?

Her face turned a mottled shade of red. That was good. A true innocent could never use that word without becoming flushed. Maybe she had nothing else in her arsenal she could substitute. What the devil was he going to say if she asked him anything else?

“So…so you did do it…fornicate.” Tessa was studying her hands which were wrapped together in such a tight clasp her knuckles were turning white before his eyes. Now, it didn’t seem she would look up. He wanted to step closer to her. Put his fingers beneath her chin to tilt her head higher. Wished he could see into her eyes.

Needing to clarify, he began, “We are done with each other. I won’t bed her again. Tonight, we both decided we would no longer see each other. We don’t suit. The decision was mutual. This is more than I should tell you. More than you should know. If you agreed to my proposal six months ago, I would have ceased my nightly visits at that time.”

To his surprise, Jason felt his own flush of embarrassment at the revelation. His face heated. Something unusual for him. Couldn’t recall the last time he blushed. He never considered what he did in bed with a woman as fornicating. With women, he had a slow hand. Never left his lover unsatisfied. His touch was easy, gentle. He always saw to their pleasure before his own. Never exploded inside her until she reached that magical pinnacle. Thought of himself as a considerate lover.

This woman, the one standing in front of him, drinking his brandy, was the woman he wanted in his bed as well as for the rest of his life. Just as he could have done a year ago, he could take her into his arms. Kiss her until she wanted what he wished for with all his heart. Make love to her. He pushed the promiscuous lock of hair from his eyes instead of ridding himself of wayward thoughts.

“Why?” Tessa downed what was left of the brandy. She sat down in a plop as if she didn’t have the energy to remain standing.

The question was blunt as well as to the point. Why? Why did he call off the relationship or why did he make love to her? Because Sarah wasn’t the woman he needed in his bed. Sarah served her purpose. Earlier, he admitted to the fact he used her. Sarah used him also. She needed him to warm her bed in the lonely nights that stretched in front of her after her husband’s death.

“She was willing.”

“Is that all that is needed? A woman to be willing?” Tessa questioned while she continued to direct her frown his way.

Not wishing to continue in that vein, he didn’t answer with a direct word of yes or no. “Sarah is a sweet woman. I cared a great deal for her. She is still important to me. We filled a need for each other that was left vacant.” More than most would ever know. Only his brother understood what Sarah meant to him. Tessa would never understand what he was saying. There was a time he wished he loved Sarah enough to marry her. The fact he thought of marrying her never mattered. Sarah was adamant in her denials of marriage. She’d told him she was independent now, a free woman. Needed her life to remain that way. All the wealth from her deceased husband was hers. Even though he had more at his disposal than she, Sarah didn’t want marriage even to increase her wealth. One husband, for her, was enough. One too many, she once told him. Didn’t need or want anything she didn’t have.

“I’m willing.” Tessa stepped forward. Her finger wrestled with the buttons on her blouse. One popped free then another. “I want you to fornicate with me.” She continued unfastening her blouse until a creamy expanse of white skin was revealed. Her silk chemise did little to cover her breasts. He saw the rose-colored nipples he longed to taste. Felt the slow burn of arousal. The urgency the sight of her created was impossible to ignore.

Struck wordless by her actions, he coughed. Clutched at his mind for something to say he wouldn’t come to regret in the morning. He wasn’t about to do her bidding. She wasn’t ready for sex. Someone put her up to this. Anice came to mind. He didn’t understand what bug got into her head. Good God, did she understand what she was asking? No, Tessa wasn’t asking. She was showing.

The stubborn glint he’d come to know over the course of the year he’d been with her was shining crystal clear in her sky-blue eyes that were no longer vacant. More buttons were becoming unfastened. This wasn’t the time for her to disrobe. He had no intention of carrying out Sarah’s wicked thoughts of getting Tessa with child so she would have to marry him. A forced marriage was not in his plans. He wanted her willing compliance, yes. Nothing less would do. This evening, he didn’t understand her intent.

Stepping forward, he clasped her hands in his. Held them away from her, behind her back. That was a mistake. Her breasts pushed forward. The softness against his chest beckoned to a starving man. “No, not tonight. Not like this.”

The soft sheen of moisture growing in her eyes, terrified. Something else was at play here. He wondered again if it had anything to do with her visit to her mother. “No, Tessa. I’m not going to let you hurt yourself. Won’t use you like this. Despite your actions, I know you don’t want to have sex without benefit of marriage. You’ve always maintained that you would hold your innocence close to your heart. You need a real wedding night. Not a sordid dalliance in the library.” He caught another glimpse of tender white flesh. Through her silk chemise he again saw the rosy tips of her nipples. Her breasts were round, firm. Bigger than he thought they would be. She was so slender.

A tear slipped down her cheek. With his thumb he whisked the silver droplet away. “I’ve been…” The words that she didn’t finish caught in her throat.

“Why the sudden need to…?” He couldn’t say the word she used. After he let go of her hands they moved to the buttons. This time he fastened them.

“Believe I’ll go to my room.” Her voice was harsh. He saw her deep mortification. The emotion was etched in her expression.

Jason wasn’t ready to let her run from him. Answers were needed. “What did your mother say to you?” He reached out to stop her. Caught her elbow. Turned her so she faced him again. The need to know why all this was happening threatened his calm exterior. Anice must have said something that had Tessa reeling. The facts pointed to something unnerving her. She would have never started to disrobe in front of him if not provoked. Never spoke of intimate acts between a man and a woman.

“N-nothing.”

Under the circumstances and with the softest voice he could manage, he spoke to her, “Little liar. Anice told you to do this. I know. What is she holding over your head? Whatever she wants, together we will fight your mother.” He held his breath while he waited for an answer that wasn’t going to appease him. Anice didn’t deserve such beautiful daughters.

“N-nothing.”

“That’s not an answer I can accept. Why don’t you sit. Drink another brandy. Think about telling me what happened with your mother that has you acting so out of character.” With each unsteady breath Tessa inhaled, his determination to remain calm faltered.

“No, I don’t want another drink. Don’t wish to sit. I’m leaving.” She whirled. Stumbled on legs that appeared to wobble. She grasped for the back of a chair. Managed to right herself.

Jason wasn’t all that certain Tessa would make it to her room. He could keep her here. What possible good would that do? He couldn’t make her talk. Despite his misgivings, he watched her walk out the door.

Not only did he hurt her feelings this evening, he humiliated her when he stopped her from giving herself to him. She reached out to him. In the process, he felt as if he slapped her in the face by denying her what she tried to gift him with. If he believed this was her idea, he might have given the notion more consideration.

Frustrated, desperate to learn why, he threw the glass at the fireplace. The delicate crystal shattered into tiny shards, clattering to the hearth then the floor. He set his forearm on the brick mantel before burying his head on his arm. Long rasps of air filled his lungs while he searched his head for some way he could have proceeded in a different manner.

~ * ~

For Tessa, her evening went from good to bad then moved on to very, very bad. Sitting on her bed after her mortification at Jason’s behalf, she allowed her mind to travel over the events of the day. No, Jason wasn’t at fault. She gambled on one last fleeting hope then lost. If given a chance, there was so much she would do different. First and foremost, she would never have gone to see her mother if she’d known Anice’s plans for her. People always spoke of hindsight. She made the worst decision of her life. Now, she would pay. Her mother would wring her dry. She could never fall into her mother’s plans. How to avoid doing that Tessa was unable to grasp. She needed Jason’s help, but after this last confrontation, was afraid to ask. She’d stuck her foot in her mouth.

Back to the good part of the last ten hours. The beginning of her day brought light to her eyes, coupled with joy to her heart. She laughed. Felt carefree. For now, she didn’t intend to do any more thinking about her mother along with all she told her. Recalling the good parts was her intention.

Her sisters were in her bedroom with her, chatting nonstop about whatever popped into their heads. To some extent, they all enjoyed the debutant scene. The dancing. The men all decked out in their best finery. They loved flirting with the line of men seeking a wife. No one planned on making a choice any day soon. As the days progressed, they all became a bit jaded as well as bored. The time was nearing the dinner hour. They each had a small glass of sherry in hand. Tessa added a log to the cheery fire.

Standing back, hands clasped in front of her, her thoughts were on Jason. The red-gold flames danced in the hearth. She was in love with the man. Had been since the moment she saw him. True, she told him no to the proposal. True, doing so was more difficult than she expected. She wanted what their oldest sister had…love. Jason didn’t seem ready or willing to give his love to her, only his protection. She couldn’t live her life with no love in it. In Tessa’s mind, a marriage would never last without love. She could site her mother and father’s marriage as an example. There was no love between the two, only bitter hatred. There were other couples she knew who felt the same about each other.

“The Laughton’s ball is coming up next week. Do you think we’ll be going?” Nellie asked as she concentrated her attention on Tessa then her sherry. “I’ve a new gown being made for the occasion. The green silk brings out the color of my eyes. That’s what Maggie told me. I for one am excited to see if there is anyone out there for me. Hope we don’t move to the country before then.”

Move to the country? She hadn’t heard about a departure from the city. Tessa felt a dreamy wave pass through her at the prospect of the ball. “I’d like to dance with Jason. Don’t care about dancing with anyone else,” Tessa said as she wove unreal dreams in her head. Wanted to feel his arms around her. Sway to the music with him. Needed to feel the warmth of his body while he twirled her around the dance floor. Didn’t intend going down the marriage path unless the man loved her. From what little Maggie told her when she wasn’t busy with her husband and now her baby, love was something to hold out for. Maggie told them all, she’d loved Jasper almost from the first time she buried her nose against his shoulder then felt the heat of his body, knew his protection would be strong. Would last a lifetime. Protection was nice. She needed love to sustain her.

“Jason this…Jason that,” Fannie said, laughing as she spoke. “One would think you didn’t have a coherent thought in your brain unless it revolved around Jason Kenworthy. He’s all you ever talk about.” Fannie was putting finishing touches on her needlework. There was a myriad of mistakes. She let her work rest in her lap, unable to stare at the piece any longer. “I would that I had that problem.”

“True. I do think about him most every second of every day.” Tessa would go only so far in her thoughts about the man who stole her heart over a year ago. She was so ignorant of what went on between a man and a woman. Maggie told her she was innocent and that wasn’t a bad way to be. In time, Jason would teach her what she needed to learn. She was eager. Impatient. Urgency flooded her when she recalled his kisses. Before she committed, she needed everything to be perfect.

“True?” Nellie laughed again. “Is that all you can say?” She leaned forward, her glass resting in a precarious manner between her fingers. “What I don’t understand is why that besotted man…he is besotted with you… has not asked you to marry him. Thought he would have done so by now. We all know he’s wanted you for more than a year. The way he looks at you, as if he wants to devour you, tells the entire story. Still, he goes to see his lover in the evenings, leaving you here.”

Lover? Goes to see her in the evenings?

“He has. Twice. Asked me to marry him. What’s that about a lover he is seeing?” Tessa cringed at the reaction of her sisters. Before this afternoon, she’d never told her favorite people in the whole world that truth. Now, they told her Jason went to see a woman in the evenings. Said that was where he was off to when she couldn’t find him.

When she began recounting her day, she never intended to dwell on anything that made her unhappy. That was the unfortunate part about today. Bad news thrived.

Fannie rose, took the glass from her hand. “Then why aren’t we planning a wedding? If he’s asked, we should be picking out gowns, planning the wedding ceremony as well as the celebration after deciding on the colors and everything else that needs to be done beforehand. The two of you are not running off to Gretna Green… Are you?” She refilled the glass. Handed it back to her. “Would like to understand the truth here.”

“Jason doesn’t love me. What did you say about a lover?” Her voice cracked with the seeds of humiliation. That couldn’t be true. He would never ask her to marry him then keep a mistress on the side. Would he? She was far too uncertain of the ways of men. Her mother always was off seeing people…men…different men. Was he seeing another woman? Now, the fact seemed obvious to her.

“Of course, he loves you. We shouldn’t have said anything.” This from Nellie who sounded indignant. She was waving her hand in the air. “That man dotes on you. When the two of you are in the same room, he never takes his gaze away from you. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. As to his lover, a man has needs. I’ve heard talk about that at some of the galas we’ve been to.”

Needs?

She huffed out a breath of stolen air. “Staring at a person does not translate to love. What do you know about this lover of his?” Tessa said, her voice soft. The hurt she felt was tangible. Jason treated her with care along with consideration as to her feelings. When he asked for her hand in marriage, he never got down on one knee. She didn’t understand why that was important to her. What she did comprehend was that love was the single most important factor in deciding to marry. So far, the words were not said. Now her sisters spouted about a lover. She didn’t intend to let this go. She wasn’t going to have a life such as the one her mother had.

“True. Lord Abernathy stares at all of us when we are in the same room. He makes my skin crawl. Never fails to raise goose bumps on my arms. Jasper says we still need to take care that we don’t put ourselves in a precarious position where that man is concerned,” Fannie said, while she shot a look at her. Sipped her drink. “Might as well tell you what you want to know. We heard Jasper arguing with Jason about the woman, Sarah is her name. Jasper told him he needed to let her go. Said she wouldn’t mind. Would understand why.”

“Yes, Jasper told his twin he should end the affair,” Nellie continued the conversation. “He should end it if he truly wants you. Can’t have a lover along with a wife at the same time. Not right. Not right a’tall. Is what Jasper said.”

“I wouldn’t stand for it,” Fannie spoke up with a small giggle. “Not that a wife ever has much of a say in matters of the heart where the husband is concerned. We all ken mother wasn’t faithful. Father never appeared to care. He seemed happy to be well rid of mother. She is difficult to get along with.”

With those words, Tessa found herself rubbing her arms where goose bumps appeared out of nowhere. Both conversations sent shivers down her spine. She didn’t wish to think of Jason with another woman. Couldn’t stand to think of Lord Abernathy at all. “Me too. My skin does react when I’m around Lord Abernathy. The small hairs at the nape of my neck stand on end. No matter how hard I try, I cannot forget how close Maggie came to being wed to that man. If not for Jasper…” Her voice trailed off. Abernathy wanted her a year ago. Now, from what she heard, he no longer wished to marry her. He wanted her as a mistress. That would never happen. Jason wouldn’t allow something so dreadful even if he didn’t love her.

“Neither can any of us…forget. Jasper saved Maggie’s life by stepping into a situation fraught with danger. When he reached out to help Maggie, he didn’t know who she was. Believed her to be homeless. That night changed all our lives,” Tessa relived those terrifying days when they didn’t know if Maggie was alive or dead. Didn’t know if Lord Abernathy found her then hid her away somewhere. Jasper spirited her out of the country to keep her away from Lord Abernathy along with his disgusting plans to marry her. During that crazy journey the couple fell in love.

“Let’s get back to something more enjoyable,” Nellie said, interrupting the next wave of nostalgia. “Thoughts of Lord Abernathy leave my stomach churning. Don’t need that to ruin my dinner. You danced with the viscount more than once.” She looked to Fannie grinning at her sister’s look of discomfiture. Tilting her head a bit, she asked “Do you have a tendre for the man? What’s his name? Leo?”

“Heavens no, no tendre for me. This man didn’t step on me feet, that’s why I danced with him more than once. Yes, his name is Leonard. His friends called him, Leo. All the other hopefuls bruised my toes. Left me with the feeling they wanted just one thing from me, my body,” Fannie laughed while she stuck her bare feet in the air to wiggle her toes. “The man is too old for…” she stopped, seeming to realize the huge differences in ages between Tessa and Jason.

Tessa waved her arm in the air to silence any further comments before she could say anything. “Age doesn’t matter if the two involved in the relationship love each other. Like Maggie and Jasper,” she finished then, needing reassurance from her sisters as well as her best friends. “Do you think age makes that much difference? I don’t feel the difference so much with Jason.” The question erupted on a weak thread. If Jason was seeing another woman, he didn’t love her. She understood that for a fact.

In unison the two sisters blurted. “Of course not!”

“Love is the important factor, you’re right,” Nellie added in agreement, then finished her sherry. She set the glass down with an emphatic bang. “I’m not going to settle for anything less than love. Neither should the rest of you.”

“Love is all important,” Fannie granted in compliance with her two sisters.

“Love…” Tessa sighed, wishing for something that wasn’t going to happen. Her hands were clasped beneath her chin. Jason was never going to fall in love with her  though it was obvious even to her, the man wanted her. His eyes blazed, changed colors when he looked at her. The way he gazed on her warmed her until she burned. Her blood rushed through her at blinding speed. Tessa, in her unworldliness didn’t understand what that entailed. She was willing to learn, even though she’d been taught from the cradle a woman shouldn’t give her body to a man before she wed.

The missive requiring her presence at her mother’s home came ten minutes after her sisters left to dress for dinner. What she should have done was tossed the letter into the fire without reading the contents. Instead, she wrote a quick note to her sisters telling them she was fine. Afraid of a lecture when she returned, she didn’t tell them where she was going. Told them she would be home as soon as possible. They would guess though. Where else would she go? If confronted, she would never be able to lie.

The ride in the carriage seemed to take an eternity, her mind racing with the potential reasons for her summons. Tessa was aware of the sounds flitting along the streets. Saw the fires from the homeless who milled around the flames attempting to warm themselves. Couldn’t help but think back on the night Maggie met Jasper. Hacks driven recklessly passed by them. Young men out for a good time walked the streets in search of whatever free female entertainment they could find. The shivering response to her thoughts set her nerves blazing. She understood from gossip, more than one woman found herself enceinte after these young men found their amusement from some unlucky girl.

After the carriage stopped in front of the MacRae townhouse, she swallowed several gulps of air. The lump in her throat didn’t vanish. She told herself the breaths of air were for courage. They didn’t help. True, she needed to pull whatever bravery she could find from herself to tackle this issue with her mother. She didn’t wish to be anywhere near her mother. Had to find out what Anice wanted. For several minutes she sat, frozen. This was…

For the benefit of your sisters.

That’s what the note said. Tessa didn’t have any idea how this meeting would benefit any of them. For over a year they had no correspondence with Anice. Now, she wanted to see the youngest. The one she believed to be the most vulnerable. Their mother tended to bring chaos into their lives whenever she entered into it. She almost told the footman to take her back after he opened the door then placed the steps for her.

With a disapproving look, he held out his hand to help her down. Cleared his throat. “You shouldn’t be here without Lord Kenworthy’s permission. Without him along for the visit, I’m not liking this a’tall. Can you reconsider going inside?”

Weak was not going to be the way people described her character. I’m not weak. I’ve a mind of my own. Opinions that don’t need to be changed.

“No, nothing to change my plans.”

She found herself shaking her head. Lord Abernathy wanted her because he believed he could mold her into a proper wife. Thought she was someone who would jump to do his bidding. Whatever that might be. Weak willed. Spineless. She was not that person. Jason understood her true nature. Letting Jason mold her to what he wished her to be was also not part of the plan for herself. He would need to come to understand her way of thinking. Tessa stiffened her spine before tilting her chin higher. She could do this. Confront her mother. Find out what she wanted with her youngest daughter.

“Are you certain you want to be here?” her driver asked again while he escorted her to the steps. “I should insist on taking you home.”

No. I’m not certain. “I’ll be fine. Wait for me, please. Don’t intend to spend a moment longer than necessary with my mother. Need to find out what she is after. Need to be certain I’ve a way home.” The man was right to worry. Tessa knew she had no business walking into her mother’s domain without protection.

He cleared his throat before he gave her one more reason to hesitate. Her hand was at the knocker. “Can’t say Lord Kenworthy will be pleased when he discovers where I’ve taken you. He might…”

Startled by his words, she was quick to reassure. She’d not thought beyond her needs. “Don’t fret. I’ll make certain Jason understands I pleaded with you to bring me here. Perhaps I’ll tell him mother sent a carriage. No, on second thought, I can’t lie. Understand you will stay here. I’m safe with my mother. No harm will come from this visit. You’ll see.” Tessa didn’t believe anything she told the driver was true. Her mother could turn on her with a blink of an eye. She was crazy to answer the note. Foolish to arrive on her doorstep without Jason or her sisters. A damn fool for not telling Nellie where she was going. Should have tossed the hated message into the fire. Should be sitting down to dinner with her sisters.

“Could lose my job,” he grumbled.

“You know that won’t happen. How long have you been working for the Kenworthys?” Tessa asked, feeling more than a little responsible for this man’s fears. “I’m sorry if I’ve made your life difficult.”

“Longer than you’ve been alive. Longer than Lord Kenworthy too.”

After she made up her mind a second time to stay, she patted his hand. “I promise nothing will happen to your job.” The promise was made with sheer bravado. Tessa understood she had no clout with the Kenworthy twins when it came to hiring and firing employees. She did think perhaps this time her reasoning might prevail if the situation came to the possible termination of his job.

“I’ll be here waiting for you, Miss MacRae. Don’t think I won’t. Not going anywhere without you inside that carriage. Not without you tucked safe and sound into the vehicle. Won’t let you down. Nothing is going to happen to you on my watch. That’s a promise.”

Standing on the tips of her toes, she kissed the elderly man on the cheek before she opened the door. The foyer was empty when she took off her cape to hang her garment on the coat stand. The scent of fresh picked roses clung to the air. Tessa expected someone to appear soon even though she didn’t knock. She wiped her sweating hands on the fabric of her dress. Wished she wasn’t so nervous.

“Mother, I’m here.” Tessa called out then smoothed the cloth of her gown, shaking out a few creases from her stint in the carriage. She walked the length of the foyer, peering into several rooms before she satisfied herself that her mother was nowhere to be found. Anice wouldn’t appear until she could make an orchestrated entrance. Her mother would play a waiting game with her, stretching her nerves with the insecurities Anice would know she was feeling.

“Mother?” A few thoughts of disgust fluttered through her head. She came all this way to be welcomed to an empty house. Did her mother think she wouldn’t come? Perhaps. With no purpose in her head as to what she was going to do, she wandered into the drawing room. Noted the fire burning in the hearth. A somber glow illuminated the room, bathing the furniture. Lights had been lit in preparation for her visit. Her mother was expecting her.

She always loved this room. As she looked around, she imagined her sisters sitting around the fire chatting. Her mother rarely disturbed them in the evenings. The times together, here, were fond memories.

A tray was set out with refreshments. A teapot with two dainty cups. Small plates at the ready. The sugar bowl along with several slices of lemon. A pitcher with milk. Napkins.

So, mother did expect her most obedient daughter to do her bidding. Obvious Anice was confident that she would comply to the command. She would give her credit for reading her mind. Had to since she fell into her hands by following her directives. Tessa realized her acquiesce in this matter wasn’t caused by obedience. It was due to curiosity. For all her sisters, Tessa wanted to learn what it was that their mother expected of them even though she put herself in a precarious situation.

Tessa poured herself a cup of tea. Bit into a spice cake. Savored the taste. Anice did employ the best cook. She closed her eyes, enjoying the intoxicating flavors.

“Ah, the little mouse has come home.” The grating voice of her mother startled her out of her contemplations.

Choked by the sound behind her, Tessa dropped the cake on the small bone China plate. She coughed, trying to clear her throat of the tiny obstacle that was lodged halfway down her throat.

“Drink some tea, dear,” Anice encouraged while she fixed herself a cup. “Wasn’t certain you would show up. Was your handsome protector not at home to end your venture into the evening by yourself? I would have expected your protector, Lord Kenworthy, to put a stop to this excursion or to insist he accompany you.”

She cleared her throat. The last remnants of spice cake slipping downward. “What do you want, Mother? I’d like to hear you out then leave. Don’t wish to stay here a moment longer than necessary.” Tessa didn’t want to remain here a second more. She wanted to leave this moment. Seeing her mother again brought back memories she’d rather forget. To dwell on whether or not she should be in this home was a moot point. She shouldn’t have responded to the summons.

“So brusque. I would have thought your manners would be better. A year ago, you would never cut to the point of a requested visit in such a curt manner. You are becoming more like your sisters every day.” Anice sat back, one hand holding the saucer, the other the cup. Her eyes narrowed while she studied her youngest daughter.

“Why don’t you have another cake, dear. Had the cook bake your favorite.” Anice nodded her head toward the plate of delicacies.

“You were so certain I would come?” Of course Anice was certain. She never defied her mother. Anice would never believe she would start now.

“Once a mouse, always a mouse. I suppose Lord Kenworthy appreciates the fact you fail to have an opinion. Such an easy girl to shape to his way of thinking. Have you slept with the man? Of course you have. When I last saw the two of you together, you were smitten with that man.”

Tessa had enough. Anice was rude beyond anything she expected. What she did or didn’t do with Jason Kenworthy was none of her mother’s business. “I should go.”

Anice motioned to the now empty chair. “Oh, do sit down. A snit will not get us anywhere. I’ve important information for you. Don’t wish for you to leave until you understand.”

“My driver is waiting for me. Get to the point, Mother.” Her anger rose not so much at her mother but at herself. Anice was acting true to form. She expected as much. If she still thought to harbor a few soft sentiments for Anice they vanished the moment she asked if she’d slept with Jason.

“Sit. Not speaking with you if you’re standing in front of me with that horrid glare on your delicate features. You will get wrinkles sooner than later. Can’t imagine how you came to be so fragile considering who your father is.” Anice took a cake from the tray. Bit with delicate precision.

Anice wasn’t going to get to the point of the visit any time soon. With a heavy sigh, Tessa sat. She’d come this far. Why not stay until she knew what her mother wanted? Waited for her mother to get through playing with her prey. Anice spoke about her father without mentioning a name. She’d always been certain her father was not the same as her siblings. Her sire was a different man. She wondered what it would have been like to grow up in a different home. If she had, she would not have come to care so much for her sisters. On the other hand, she might have been loved by her father.

Would the man who is her father be nice? Would he have cared about her? Too many questions to count. What she needed now was to stick this out. She was here for a reason. The intent of her mother would not bode well for her.

“What do you want, Mother?” Tessa found she was exhausted as well as frustrated with the cat and mouse game Anice played. “Tell me now so I can leave. As I said before, don’t wish to be here a moment longer than necessary.”

By the time Anice finished explaining her plans for the two of them, Tessa was sick to her stomach. She couldn’t ignore what her mother wanted. Had to find some way to play the game long enough so she might find the means to win. Enlisting Jason’s help was out of the question. His lover would stand in the way. She’d tossed out several names of possible fathers. Left her guessing just who she intended to blackmail with the information they had a bastard daughter.

Heart-sick, Tessa welcomed the friendly presence of her driver after she left her mother’s home. He gave her a fatherly pat on her hand as if he sensed her disillusionment. Tessa understood whether she came to visit tonight or tomorrow or even the next week, Anice would have found a way to put her disgusting threat in front of her.

When she walked into the library of the Kenworthy home, she felt dirty, cheap. Was that the way a whore felt? Couldn’t imagine. She needed to wash the filth from herself. No amount of scrubbing would make her clean again. Her mother used her. Did that surprise her? No! Anice used everyone who was pathetic. All she needed was to find a weakness. As she discovered while visiting with her mother, she had more than one weakness.

So unlike her, she grabbed Jason’s glass of brandy and downed the contents. Almost laughed at his stunned look of surprise. The fiery liquid sliding down her throat did nothing for her disposition. Her confusion must have shown through her bravado. She splashed more brandy into Jason’s glass then poured herself another drink.

She was confused as well as frightened. Proceeding with the plan was difficult. She didn’t wish to be part of her mother’s plots. Didn’t know what to do or how to escape. She could never explain any of this to Jason.

As she began to fiddle with her buttons, she understood she exploded into dangerous territory. Having Jason make love to her wouldn’t solve her problems. No, doing this would create more than she had any idea how to deal with.

When he rejected her ill-thought-out advances, her cheeks flamed. Heated. Mortified to the tips of her toes, she wished there was some hole she could climb into then hide from him forever. He learned she visited her mother. He was angry. Told her Anice was not safe for her to see.

Jason demanded answers. She had nothing to give him that would subdue his burgeoning anger with her. When they spoke of the woman he was seeing, she wished she dared slap him. He couldn’t ask her to marry him in one breath then run off to warm himself in the bed of his mistress. The woman wasn’t his mistress. He told her as much. After the brief meeting, she raced to her room. To seek solace by herself was her motivation.

Still feeling the filth from her mother, coupled with the humiliation from Jason, she pulled the bell cord for a bath. Not much later the heated water arrived. Tessa poured scented oil into the steaming liquid before she stripped then settled into the hot, comforting liquid.

To cease thinking about this day would be her dream. To have had the day never happen would be a miracle that would never happen. She soaked until the water turned tepid. Washed. Finally, stepping from the water, she wrapped a towel around her hair then one around herself.

She placed another log on the fire. Watched the flames leap into the air. Tears slid from her eyes. She pushed them away with the backs of her hands. Tessa didn’t know how she was going to face Jason tomorrow morning. If she got lucky, he wouldn’t be around. Sometimes he left early to ride. She could hope.

The knock on her door startled her. The person on the other side could be one of her sisters. Who else would it be at this time of night? She didn’t want to see them. They would take one look at her then ask a wealth of questions she didn’t dare respond to.

“Tessa!”

The devil, no! This was worse than her sisters.

“I don’t wish to see you!” The panic she heard in her voice would also be heard by Jason. He would insist on entry. He’d not given up on finding out why she set out to see her mother or what her mother wanted from her. She wouldn’t be able to withstand his gentle persuasion. He had that way about him.

“You’ve no choice,” Jason spoke with a calming voice. His words though, did nothing to soothe her. “One way or the other I’m coming into your room. Must speak with you about tonight. You ran off before I could get answers from you. Need to get a few things understood before I sleep tonight.”

“No!”

“As I just said, you’ve no choice.” Jason persisted on this theme. His voice was gentle. While he wasn’t giving her a choice, he was using tactics that would subdue someone with greater strength than she possessed. “I’d like you to open the door for me. Now.”

“I’m not decent.” She groped for one excuse after another. “I’ve…”

“Put a robe on,” he said as he turned the handle. “I’ll give you to the count of ten.” Jason began to count. “One…two…”

Tessa didn’t have time to find the lock to the door. She would look for the key afterward. This wasn’t going to happen again. She raced to the armoire. Dropped both towels before opening the doors. Where was her nightgown? Her robe? She was such a bundle of nerves. Her fingers fumbled while she searched in desperation. She didn’t recall where she saw them last.

“Ten…”

“Oh, no…no…!”

Wide eyed, she turned to see Jason open the door then step into the room. With haste, she reached for the first thing she could find. Air was what she found. Saw one of the towels lying a few feet from her. Dashed for it. In a moment, she had the towel wrapped around her, her blood rushing through her at an alarming pace.

“Jason…” she breathed out his name. “You shouldn’t be here. I…” He saw her naked, without a stitch.

With his hands behind his back, he rocked on his heels. With deep husky words, he spoke. “I see that. Go on. Find your nightgown and robe. I’ll turn my back while you look. Need for you to calm down.”

“Calm down?” she parroted. Panicked. “How can I calm down when you’re in my room and I’m na…naked?”

The throaty chuckle following her statement did nothing to relax her. “If I recall a little while ago, you were undressing yourself in front of me. What am I supposed to think? Seems you’re running a bit hot and cold. You don’t seem to know your own mind.”

“I…can’t we talk in the morning?” Even while she uttered the question, Tessa comprehended what his answer would be.

“No.”

That was what she thought. She gulped down a smidgeon of air. Wasn’t enough. She choked. “I’m not going to be telling you anything about my visit to my mother. I won’t. If that’s why you are here, then you’re wasting your time.”

“Find the robe, Tessa. If you don’t, I will. My patience is running thin.”

By the sound of his voice, what he told her held the ring of truth. “Oh!” She dropped the towel. Searched. Found a gown that would never do. The fabric was gossamer, silky, meant to… She didn’t know what it was meant for. Not warmth that was for certain. Nonetheless, this piece of silken fabric her mother gave her before the sisters had a falling out with her was better than nothing. She slipped the gown over her head just as he was turning around again.

His eyes darkened. He stepped toward her. His hand outstretched. “Your hair is all a tangle. Still wet. Go sit by the fire. I’ll comb it for you.”

“That’s not why you’re here. What do you want?” Frantic, she searched her mind for some tidbit she could tell him. Something that might ease his mind. “Why are you here where you’ve no business?”

“We will be married. Don’t know when. However, you need to get used to me seeing you with little to nothing on.”

“I said no.” She backed up a step for each one he took toward her.

“Yes. A man needs to know where his woman is as well as why she put her life at risk. Don’t you think? Give me a reason I can’t refute.”

“Not your woman.” She wished she was his. Needed him to love her the way his twin loved her sister.

“You are. I’ve waited far too long for you to figure it out. Tonight put a period to the waiting. If you won’t say yes…well there are other ways to get a reluctant woman to the alter.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Sit on the hearth. I’ll comb your hair.

Dazed, Tessa obeyed without further argument.

I am a mouse.

~ * ~

“You know Tessa went to see mother. What do you suppose she wanted?” Nellie asked, her voice growing paper thin with the question. They were all afraid Anice would find some means to make the youngest sibling do her dirty work. They both understood Anice would blackmail her if she got the chance. She’d always been underhanded in her dealings. Nothing would have changed in the year since Maggie’s wedding.

“What information does she have to hold over Tessa’s head? There is nothing that I can think of.” Fannie asked while she watched the door for movement. “I’d like to learn what it is. We need to speak with our sister so she can tell us what Anice wants. Do you think she would be forthcoming with us?”

“No, not if the threat included us. In that case she would tell us nothing. Tessa was out late with mother. I would suspect Jason saw her before she went to bed. She won’t be down yet. It’s far too early. We need to be patient with our little sister. There is a lot of pressure on her. I’m certain Jason has been applying thumb screws to get her to talk to him. We need to make certain she understands she can count on us to protect her best interests.”

“Do you think our talk about his mistress shook her so much she gave into whatever mother wanted?” Fannie was drumming her fingers on the armrest of her chair. It was a nervous habit that drove Nellie half crazy. “If mother summoned her, Anice would be confident that Tessa would have no choice in the matter.”

“There is no mistress…no other woman in my life. I’d appreciate it if the rumors along with the gossip to stop.” The gruff voice brought both girls to attention. They both groaned. Both felt heat flush their faces. “What goes on between Tessa and myself needs to be between the two of us. I’ve explained to Tessa what she needs to know. She understands the woman is in my past not our future. A man cannot be expected to be celibate. Tessa is the only woman I want. Still, she refuses my proposal of marriage.”

“It can’t be just between the two of you,” Nellie said, quite frankly finding the need to lecture this man surfacing with rapid speed. “We all share everything. We are as close as sisters can be. That’s not going to change. Not ever!”

“No longer. What goes on between Tessa and myself is private, between the two of us, no one else.” He poured himself a cup of tea then set about dishing up a plate of food. He sat down before speaking again, “Tessa won’t be down for another hour or more. She’s exhausted from the evening. There was a great deal that happened that was out of her control.”

“What about your mistress…Sarah?” Fannie blurted with angry words while she persevered on the topic Jason just told them was not their business. Fannie folded her hands together. “If Tessa is going to shed tears over your lovers, past or present, she needs to be able to confide in us.”

Jason didn’t seem to understand how best to deal with Tessa’s siblings. He pinched the bridge of his nose before clearing his throat to move on to a new topic. “As I just mentioned, I have no mistress or lover. There is nothing to share. Tessa doesn’t need to confide in her sisters. She has me to unburden her thoughts now.” Without giving them more attention, he thumped the egg he was about to eat then carefully peeled the shell away.

“Jason is right.” Tessa made her way into the room. Beneath her eyes were dark shadows giving testimony to a sleepless night. Jason was correct in his assumption. She was exhausted. “I will…entrust in Jason. No one else. He’s made himself clear on that matter to the two of you this morning as well as to me last evening. There will be no arguments or persuasive lectures. What is between Jason and myself stays between us.”

“You should still be in bed,” Jason said as he stared pointedly at Tessa. “Last night was too much for you. You need your rest.”

Nellie and Fanny shared the direction of their gazes. Both were concerned for their little sister. She looked as if she’d been run over, trampled by a speeding carriage.

“I couldn’t sleep. Under the circumstances, there’s no point in staying in bed,” Tessa murmured as she sat down at the breakfast table.

“Eat…” He waved his arm to the sideboard where platters of food abounded. “We are traveling to the country today. There you will find some rest. You can sleep as long as you wish. Anice will not be allowed to bother you. The butler has been given the order that whatever missives come to you they must go through me first.” He turned his attention to the sisters. “You will follow after the Laughton ball if you would like to join us. As you all can see, Tessa needs a change of scenery. I’m worried about her. We are all concerned for her health.”

What he wasn’t saying was that she needed to be away from Anice. Nellie closed her eyes, obvious that she understood Tessa was their mother’s latest victim. Jason would do all in his power to protect her. He loved her even though Tessa didn’t realize that yet.

Nellie wanted to be loved. The rakes she met so far were not ready to find a wife. She realized she needed to look for an older man. At twenty something, young pups, as Jasper called the men who were eager to find wives at the debutant balls, wouldn’t do unless they were closer to the thirty mark. Younger men seemed to need to figure things out. They were not seasoned enough. Nellie wasn’t at all certain what needed to be figured out. The only logical explanation she could think of was the need to bed as many different women as possible before turning that ripe old age of thirty.

Jason turned thirty a couple of years ago. He must have everything all figured out. Tessa was lucky his roving eye landed on her.